If A Carl’s Jr Doesn’t Open On The East Coast, I Will RIOT

Over the past few months my ratio of Kate Upton to sports posts is at least 2:1. She is so hot right now, she’s boiling my face off.

The only reason why I know the name Carl’s Jr is because I remember Paris Hilton filming a risqué commercial a few years back. After seeing this new commercial featuring Upton, I insistently searched for my local Carl’s Jr restaurant and found that the closest location is about 1600 miles away in Oklahoma. Sweet.

Lets get your shit together, Carl. I don’t really care about your burgers but I won’t be able to see your commercials frequently on my television unless you open up a joint around here. Let’s do this!