If Joe Flacco Was My Neighbor I Would’ve Shoved Him Off His Skateboard

Baltimore Ravens Quarterback Joe Flacco told this story on Wednesday on NFL Network’s Total Access:

“I’d never been on a skateboard in my life, so I was literally riding it about 10 feet down my driveway just to see if I could stand on it and stay upright. One of my neighbors must have called in looking for [general manager] Ozzie Newsome and left a voicemail on his secretary’s phone saying, ‘Hey, man, you got to let Joe Flacco know we’re trying to win the Super Bowl around here! He’s at home riding a skateboard. Somebody’s got to let him know what the deal is.’”

Are you serious bro?

If I was Flacco’s neighbor I would’ve walked over, shoved him off the skateboard, smashed his skateboard over my knee, and shown him the back of my hand. How you can you trust the mindset andcomposure of a quarterback that would think its a good idea to try skateboarding during the bye week of the playoffs? Flacco tries to make it seem innocent that he was only going about 10 feet, but it only takes about 2 feet to bust your ass on a skateboard. Trust me, I’ve done it.

Ravens might’ve been better off if Flacco fell, broke a bone and had Tyrod Taylor under center.

And dude, the fu-manchu was cool when Aaron Rodgers did it because he’s good.

You don’t get the Discount Double Check.

Someone should give that neighbor a “Fan of the Year Award!”