You’re Obsessed by Your Own Artificial Hopes
You’re too superior or inferior
Imagine: You are standing on stage singing your favorite song. At first, your legs are trembling, lacking confidence. However, you must still sing your song. Eventually, with your melodious voice, you capture the attention of all the audience. Everyone is mesmerized by your voice. The applause breaks the silence of the auditorium. Your heart is overflowing with joy. In that moment, you feel like you’re on cloud nine, thinking, “Wow, I’m awesome, turns out my voice is melodious.” Yes, that’s your conclusion. You deserve that appreciation.
Afterwards, you believe that your family, friends, and significant other will appreciate you, treat you to your favorite dinner, buy you a new guitar, or perhaps take you on a vacation to Tokyo. However, what actually happens doesn’t align with your imagination. None of them appreciate you except through chats, Facebook, or Instagram. That’s it. No free dinners, let alone a trip to Tokyo.
You feel crushed. Your expectations were wrong. Everything feels messed up. Everything feels arrogant. “Are they envious of my melodious voice to the extent that they can’t even congratulate me in person? Haven’t they witnessed my masterpiece that I created?”
You’re being conceited
Finally, you get entangled and fall into the abyss of your assumptions. Initially, you were so confident that you deserved appreciation for your efforts. “I sang so well, the cheers and applause from the audience indicate I deserve a reward.” But it turns out it was just your own assumption that made you feel superior.
Our assumptions often obsess us. Yet, they are just assumptions that arise from within us, not from careful planning. These assumptions flow naturally, not from our planning. These assumptions we believe in are formed from our past experiences. Because of these assumptions, we have high expectations, and when those expectations aren't met, our emotions explode.
Our past experiences shape our beliefs and assumptions that we are special, cool, super, and different from others (superior).
However, in reality, we are just ordinary people.
Or conversely, our past experiences sometimes make us assume we are worthless, stupid, clumsy, no different from clowns on the streets who become the subject of others' laughter (inferior).
It’s just your assumption
We tend to exaggerate. These assumptions are the root of it all. Your voice is actually quite ordinary, my friend. Not much different from a street performer’s voice. The cheers and applause from the audience are just to give you a fleeting sense of joy. But,
Your imagination and assumptions are what exaggerate things,
“Wow, I’m amazing, I’m special, I’m extraordinary.”
The assumptions we hold make us arrogant (or insecure). This is a common phenomenon. And it's synonymous with exaggeration. What we believe is good for ourselves, we tend to think is good for others too (and vice versa).
This writing isn't meant to make us discard our assumptions completely. Assumptions will always be assumptions. Believing in our assumptions one hundred percent will only lead to disappointment.
