The Emotional Arc of Running a Company, Changing Lives, and Doing the Right Thing
It was a Friday.
Friday, March 23, 2018 at 1:30 PM precisely. I know this was the time as it was printed on the boarding pass I held in my hand while at Vancouver International Airport. Other people were boarding, including my wife, yet I was not.
You see, I was on the phone with one of the Directors for RightMesh AG who simply said, “I think we are going to need to delay the TGE.” It was a matter of fact statement, and one that led to the Board’s decision to temporarily delay the RightMesh Token Generating Event scheduled for a mere 82 hours after I hung up that phone.
This post is not to describe those events [spoiler: the TGE is back on, read the announcement here], other than to say that the following two weeks, until we were able to announce the rescheduled date, were some of the hardest weeks I have ever endured as an entrepreneur. They felt harder than the weeks back in 2013 when we announced to our then small team that we didn’t know how we were going to pay them going forward [we found a way]. It felt harder way back in 2002 in one of my first startups when I decided I was going to sell my equity for $1 to my partner as he wanted to keep going and I needed to go get a “real job” to pay the mortgage.
I was tired: mentally, physically, and emotionally. We had spent nearly one year preparing for our token event, and here it was… on the verge of being done, and we were told… “No… not quite yet.” Internally, I felt I had disappointed the team, my family, and our community of supporters. I felt that no matter how much I gave, it wasn’t enough, and I didn’t know if I had anything else to give.
We had prepared for a marathon, and what we were told as we approached the finish line was, “Oh sorry, did we say marathon? This race is an IronMan. Go on now… there’s your bike.” The end was no longer in sight.
We knew, of course, the token event was not the end of the journey, just as it wasn’t the start. But the TGE did signal a new beginning. It was the start of the next chapter in which we could get back to that which was both important and frankly, a lot more enjoyable: building a company, doing the little things, laughing at work, creating something that has never been done before, and changing lives — this is what we are about.
As an entrepreneur, it’s common to look to other leaders and think, “Wow, that sure looks easy. Why can’t that be me?” All the while, you put on a brave face as you mask your impostor syndrome, and you soldier on. Column inches are rarely wasted on those moments in an entrepreneur’s journey that don’t go well unless they are already famous and there is a spectacular failure that is dissecting where things went wrong. Instead, people like to embrace the façade and showcase the wins, the excitement, the positive news.
Perhaps it a holdover from the masculine, stoicism of business leaders from past generations, but we bosses must appear to hold firm and be in control of the situation. Don’t show weakness. Bury your emotions. Brush off your insecurities. If you show vulnerability, others may judge you for it. This is both to internal and external audiences.
I would like to think, perhaps naively, we live in a different time now compared to that suit-wearing past. Some still judge, of course, but I believe firmly that by talking about the lows and not just the highs, we can end some of the stigma. We can be more real, and others can gain strength from knowing that others, too, find a path forward when life and business get tough.
It was four years ago that we started our mesh journey and our path to reinventing the company started four years before that. Many who will read these words probably did not read my blog posts from the early days in our RightMesh history, but I want to point out one thing: me writing this post today is not an accident. Instead, it is the fulfillment of a promise I made to document the journey — both the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. I would encourage you to read some of those early tales to fully understand me and the mission we are on.
Why? Because this is what I did to get through these past few weeks, and I found it enlightening. I went back and read my earlier blog posts in which we saw YO! for the very first time. I looked back and saw both the excitement we shared and the many roadblocks we endured. Reading what I had previously written throughout the years on this journey helped me put things into perspective. I needed to remember our ‘Why’.
Take a moment now if you wish, and go read those early blog posts… I will wait.
Writing the RightMesh Whitepaper
The other thing I did was re-read the RightMesh whitepaper we wrote last summer as this TGE process began. Well, I didn’t read the actual whitepaper itself, but I re-read the original notes and outline I had created in preparation for writing it.
I had used a storytelling technique to create what I believed would generate an emotional appeal to the community. We wanted those who read the finished document to join us on our journey, to become emotionally invested in our outcome, to cheer for us in our lows, and congratulate us in our highs. And this is exactly what happened when we announced the pausing of our TGE.
The feedback from our community was overwhelmingly positive and showed us that people were really on this journey with us. Yes, they were disappointed, but they also understood the decision we made was not made easily, and in fact, it was one they would have expected us to make given our transparency and the commitment to doing things right as we have demonstrated all along the way. And best of all, when we announced we were resuming (May 30 here we come), it was like a scene in one of those old period piece films where all the men wearing hats throw them up in the air in jubilation. We felt euphoric. We felt alive, and our community responded in kind with positive messages and emails.
[I want to pause here to say thank you for our community. Your encouragement really helped us through some of the tough times.]
Why did I find re-reading the storyline notes so powerful? Because the storytelling technique was, dear reader, not designed to mislead, but instead to bring you on an emotional journey, and in re-reading, I realize it is reflective of life itself.
Life is a roller coaster, and the highs and lows you experience along the way are what makes things interesting. If it wasn’t for the emotional arc of business, of relationships, of a project, or a great story… well, it would get kind of boring now wouldn’t it?
To this end, I thought I would share with you the notes that we made last year. In a way, it is a bullet point list of why we are all on this journey… together.
The Outline
What follows below was written in June and July of 2017, and some things have changed since then. A good arc should be filled with highs and lows, but leave the reader feeling optimistic. The ‘HIGHs’ compound, and the ‘LOWs’ pile on. In the end, as is with life — everyone needs to know there is a better way forward and that things are going to be OK.
HIGH — Internet and Connectivity is wonderful
HIGH — now everyone has access to Education, Finance, Health, Information, Ideas, Global Markets
HIGH — Blockchain makes it even better
LOW — But except it is not true. Billions are being left behind
HIGH — But it has been proven if you introduce connectivity, you increase health outcomes and GDP
HIGH — But cheap phones are everywhere with new communication technologies, chips, sensors!
HIGH — The future of ubiquitous data is nearly here. Yay 5G.
LOW — Reality is Data consumption is also increasing
LOW — They don’t make more spectrum
LOW — But infrastructure is expensive. CAPEX /OPEX doesn’t make sense for telcos. Expensive spectrum.
LOW — And physical infrastructure is expensive. So sad.
LOW — And it is bad for the planet because all this infrastructure requires so much energy.
LOW — The result is an even greater digital divide
HIGH — And when you connect people, the world is better. Yay Freedom/Arab spring
HIGH — Facebook, Google, SpaceX … are trying to solve problem… YAY!
LOW — But these are centralized and the consumer is the product… BOO!
LOW — And governments who don’t like freedom can shut networks down. Say it isn’t so!
LOW — Central Control keeps the power in the intermediaries
LOW — But it is not just emerging markets. When there are emergencies, connectivity also fails when you need it most. Can’t reach family members in disasters.
LOW — Connectivity can’t happen fast enough. You can’t get all the good parts of connectivity, of blockchain, of lifting people up…. if people can’t connect. Connectivity should be a right that should not be controlled and centralized
REALLY HIGH — But there is a technology solution (mobile mesh networks)
HIGH — Other companies have shown that it can connect people and people will use it
HIGH — And this technology is not just restricted to phones, but billions of IOT devices can also participate
LOW — But these networks are slow and restricted to small bits of data and are closed to outsiders.
LOW — And you can’t use traditional identity methods (IP addresses) if a user is not connected to the internet
HIGH — But we have build a technology that is secure and has blockchain at its core. Ethereum wallet for each mesh node
HIGH — It is private and central authorities can’t control access. Signal protocol for offline
HIGH — it is a platform to allow others to build apps and service to address market needs. Local apps for local needs
HIGH — Each app strengthens the network
HIGH — Each app brings you more users
HIGH — More users bring you a stronger network
DEVELOPER LOOP
LOW — but getting developers to use the platform is challenging (costly).
LOW — developers don’t want to build a platform unless there are users
HIGH — more apps, mean more developers, mean more apps being created, meaning more developers, more value from network
USER LOOP
LOW — Mesh networks work better with density. Emerging markets have smartphone penetration meaning this is possible
LOW — Users don’t want to give up Internet access or battery. Need incentives
HIGH — But if you incentivize a user to do things right: share data, share processing, share battery, create content, share ideas… users are willing to participate
HIGH — If we get as many connected as fast as possible, the network gets stronger. More value is available to be shared. Lives are improved
TGE
HIGH — The solution to all of life’s problems is a TGE
HIGH — TGE creates mesh access tokens that allow a user to get connected
HIGH — We have created mesh platform that allows other to build apps.
HIGH — We have built apps ourselves and here is one that is Open Source
HIGH — We have kept the SDK prices low to make it available for developers.
HIGH — Free SDK for Students
HIGH — Tokens will be available for developers to incentivize users (if they apply for grants)
HIGH — Developers will be able to build all sorts of applications on the platform to solve problems
LOW — Mesh access token is required to access network
LOW — And people can’t afford access tokens when they don’t have Ethereum, don’t have connectivity, they are unbanked and can’t get started
HIGH — TGE Gives us a unique opportunity.
HIGH — We create an economy whereby users can communicate, share and learn for free… but they can also exchange their value with things they do every day (Data plans, Attention, Storage, Battery, Digital Creation, Sensor Data) with others on the network.
HIGH — In trading work/value for tokens in this economy, they can earn and connect with more users both on the mesh and off of it.
HIGH — All this can be done securely, protecting privacy, giving freedom, without central authority… We can change the lives of billions
LOW — But they need tokens and help to get started
HIGH — Foundation pledges to give one person connectivity for every donation. One token = $0.10.
HIGH — Pledge goal is to connect the next billion
HIGH — Pledge goal is to give developers tokens to incentivize user behavior (share access, reward good behavior
RIGHTMESH LOOP
More users > More apps > More value > Save more energy > Reduce network congestion > Improve Data Access > Create more value in network > More users
HIGH — Create a secure platform
HIGH — No Central Authority
HIGH — More energy efficient
HIGH — Improve GDP, Health, Education
HIGH — Better tomorrow
So now you know the rest of the story. The next chapter for RightMesh, for my time as an entrepreneur, and to life itself, will be filled with more twists and turns. There will be ups and downs, but we’re glad to have you along for the ride. And in the end, if we keep doing the ‘right thing’, we know we will make a meaningful and lasting change for the good of the world.
As an additional aside, I started writing this blog post in the immediate aftermath with a date in hand for our rescheduled TGE. However, the balance was written after “going dark” for a few days to spend some offline/disconnected time with my family. This is something we have preached as a company, but I have had difficulty doing myself. In fact, this was the only time in the past 8 years that I set up an ‘Out-of-Office’ notification for my email. And, while it was only a few days, and I still habitually looked at my phone, I also had a moment to pause and be there for them too. Family is also part of the ‘Why’ that can’t be forgotten.
[Editor’s Note: the above storyline also sheds some light on ideas we were thinking of from a business model standpoint: things like charging for the SDK or creating the RightMesh Foundation, both of which we decided to not do.]
