Surviving distance learning: 4 strategies working parents can use during COVID
How to not get voted off the island!
It’s been a few months now since so many of us have been sheltering in place. The COVID-19 pandemic has really pushed all of us to our breaking points on so many levels. Simple things we used to take for granted like going out to eat, getting a hair cut, and visiting the doctor are now much more complicated requiring so much more effort and planning than ever before.
While most of the world is experiencing many social inconveniences, working parents are especially feeling the pain of sheltering in place when it comes to home schooling and distance learning.
Juggling a full time job and being expected to also support your child while they attend school remotely via video conferencing is a whole new set of skills none of us really imagined or were prepared to take on.
Speaking for my own experience, I have two sons, one in 2nd grade and one in 6th grade. Our school has a year-round schedule, so there wasn’t much of a summer break to begin with (about 6 weeks). When school started up again in late summer, it seemed like the kids had just finished the prior school year. I was definitely not ready and not sure how this school year would go. I felt anxiety about juggling work, home schooling, being a wife, and being a mother. That said, my husband and I have figured out a way to balance things out a bit. Below are some of the ways we are surviving.
Divide and conquer by distributing the work
If there are two working parents in your home, it is only fair that both parents take on some of the extra work of home schooling and distance learning. It is too much for one parent to do it all and work full time, unless of course you have a situation where someone has to work outside the home. Whatever your situation, try to figure out how to divide up the work. If both parents cannot help with the school work, then maybe there is another way to divide up other work to balance it out. In my house, during school hours, my husband and I each focus primarily on one kid. We are lucky to have a space that allows my husband to be upstairs with my older son to monitor his schoolwork, while I am downstairs with my younger son helping with his work. So far, this has been working as well and overall it’s a pretty balanced system.
Stay organized by prepping in advance
One of the keys to keeping your stress low is to prepare in advance, this is true for distance learning with your kids as well. First, make sure you have a space designated for your child to work. This is easier said than done in some homes, so do your best with this one. I’ve recently started using a table top screen or divider to help block out my younger son’s field of vision, so he can be less distracted while working at our kitchen table. Second, work with your child’s teacher to make sure you know the schedule ahead of time and the materials you will need each day. I am lucky that both of my son’s teachers at their schools are extremely organized and provide very clear instructions most of the time. So I usually don’t have to ask and the information is provided on a regular, predictable cadence. Third, make sure before school starts each day, that all of the materials needed are laid out on your child’s workspace. I also go through my son’s online classroom assignments and have him open up all the lessons he needs for the day on different tabs in his browser. This way, it’s easy for him to just go from one window to the next as he completes each subject.
Prioritize by applying the 80/20 rule
When distance learning first started at the end of last year’s school calendar, I stressed out and worried my kids would not learn and they would fall behind. For this current school year, I decided that not every day was going to be a perfect learning day. Some days, both of my sons excel and do really well. On other days, they seem less focused and not as engaged. How normal is that? Pretty normal it turns out. Given this current situation of shelter in place, it is important to remember that all kids and families are going through the same challenges. We have good days and bad days. So there really isn’t a likelihood of truly falling behind when everyone is experiencing the same problems. We often forget that kids are very resilient creatures and they will all be academically fine when this situation is over.
To combat the need to strive for high achievement during this time, always remember the 80/20 rule.
Don’t expect 100% all the time and make sure to allow for ebbs and flows when it comes to your kids learning and absorbing the information. If your kids days are 80% productive most of the time, then that’s good enough. The other 20% will come later and they will catch up. Don’t worry.
However, if you are worried about your child not engaging enough, try a positive reward system at home. We give positive behavior tickets to my kids as an incentive to help them stay focused and complete their work. They get an additional “prize pick” from our goodie box if they get a certain number of tickets each day. But again, apply the 80/20 rule, if giving a reward ticket motivates your child 80% of the time, then that’s good enough. If you occasionally forget to give the reward one day, so be it. No one is grading you!
Make home life fun by creating new family rituals
Who says you can’t still have fun during a pandemic? No one. It turns out, in some ways, this crazy shelter in place situation has brought our family closer together. Since the shelter in place, we’ve made it a priority to institute a family game night on Fridays along with our usual weekly family movie night on Saturdays. We’ve also allowed our kids to have “camp out” nights where they sleep downstairs in their sleeping bags. Giving our kids a “bonus” night of fun is not only helpful to their mental health, but also mine and my husband’s. Spending more quality time with your kids is one of the silver linings in this whole situation. Creating time for fun and family bonding really helps to create a more positive dynamic that carries over to when kids are learning online through distance learning.
Making time for fun helps prevent everyone in the family from being voted off the island!
Distance learning is a huge amount of extra work and responsibility for parents. It is important to manage your workload, stay organized, prioritize, and take care of your stress levels by making time for fun. Maintaining your mental health also requires taking breaks and not being too hard on yourself. Remember, you don’t have to be a perfect parent in this situation. You just have to hold on long enough to stay afloat and survive.
Relief will come at some point. In the meantime, do your best.
