In Rio, Have a Nice Day at the Beach
But choose the proper day, time and spot
The summer is almost here and it’s a good time for beach stories, such as this one:
This time, though, no coconuts are involved.
Last year, I went to Praia Vermelha. A nice and small beach, right below the famous Sugar Loaf.
We suffered quite a bit to find a parking spot, which reminded me of why I don’t have a car. This is already expected.
We suffered quite a bit to find a spot at the beach, as it was crowded. This is also expected when you add Rio de Janeiro + beach + weekend. That’s part of the routine.
We ended up finding a clearing where we could stick our beach umbrella, where the four of us could sit, and where my son could play with his little bucket and shovel. It was tight, but it should be enough.
Round 1
A few minutes after we arrived, the group right in front of us started playing annoying music, as loud as possible, through a mobile phone.
Polite requests are usually answered with offenses and “I do what I want” kind of quotes. I have reached a level of not even trying anymore.
“I can stand it for a couple more hours,” I thought.
Round 2
To our right, a group of guys started to smoke, incessantly. The wind did not help and we were regularly engulfed in smoke.
“Maybe the wind will change,” I persisted.
Round 3
Behind us, a large family with a lot of kids was enjoying their day.
The kids’ favorite game? Running around kicking sand on each other and, obviously, hitting us.
My mother-in-law gave up tanning. It is not comfortable to get sand in your face while you lay down to relax at the beach.
Final Round
We were already preparing to leave after less than 30 minutes, as the situation surely would not improve.
Suddenly, we felt a disgusting smell. Sewage was the closest guess we could think of. Yes, sewage is dumped in the Ocean. Sometimes the water currents bring it back to the coast.
“Maybe the smell comes from the Ocean,” I concluded, as if that would be a perfectly acceptable answer.
We were picking up our things, when my mother-in-law found something buried beneath us: a baby diaper. Used. Fully loaded. Wide open!
By “buried”, I mean “covered with a thin layer of sand”.
Honestly, what kind of person buries that in a crowded beach? Cariocas do.
Whenever I discuss “going to the beach” with friends, the usual responses follow a pattern:
“Yes, I love going to the beach, but I try to arrive there at 7:30 am. At 10:30 am, I am already leaving, before it becomes hell.”
“When I go, I go to Grumari. You can only get there by car, and it is 45km away.”
“I live two blocks away from the beach, but I never go there. At all.”
For people enjoying their vacations, or tourists, it is a different story, of course. There is more space, but there are other problems such as crime and dishonest salespeople.
So, whenever someone tells me that “Rio is wonderful! Ah, the beaches….”, I can’t disagree more.
