The Call for a Love-Centered Framework in Community-Engaged Work
“Love calls us to look upon anyone and say: You are a part of me I do not yet know. Love calls us to be brave with our grief and take in those wounded, neglected, and abused as our own flesh and blood. Revolutionary love calls us to harness our rage in the face of injustice.” — Valarie Kaur
By Alex Foley ’22
When I think of systems change and the difficult work that must be done to dismantle systems of oppression, I usually am not focused on love, nor actively trying to incorporate love into my community-engaged work. If centering love in your work sounds cheesy, vague, and unproductive; or if it seems like a scapegoat solution to the escalating problems that we collectively face in society, you’re not alone.
I grew up in an environment that was quick to call for love, without ever diving deeper into the social issues that existed in our communities. I never received the tools to tangibly “love others” in my community beyond passing phrases of sympathy and compassion. Especially in this time of heightened political tension and social unrest, love might be the last thing on our minds as change-makers, students, and activists. However, adopting a “revolutionary love” framework into our work may be the key to transforming our community-engaged work to create lasting change.
My mindset and approach changed last semester when I had the opportunity to hear from the civil-rights activist, lawyer, and interfaith leader Valarie Kaur, during the Inside and Out of the Echo Chambers series hosted by Cornell’s Office of Spirituality and Meaning-Making.
I was surprised when Kaur called us to center love in our community-engaged efforts and as leaders on campus. However, after the conversation, I was left feeling refreshed, energized, and eager to spread the message of centering a framework of love in our lives and our organizations. Her story was both relatable and unique as she explained how her Sikh faith, her understanding of law and the divine, and her lived experiences pushed her to become a leader in the world of activism and unity. Allow me to share how her message of radical and revolutionary love can transform our collective efforts towards social change and how it has impacted my own community-engaged efforts.
Seeing No Stranger: Loving Others
When we see humanity as connected, despite our differences, we can wonder about them, we can grieve for them and with them, and we can fight for them when they are in danger. In so many ways, the world is so divided right now. In my hometown, the whole country, and even the world, there are instances of great division broadcasted and streamed into my life daily. While it’s important to be aware of the world around me, I find that the constant stream of divisive news creates the anxiety where I must “choose” to be complicit or get angry at another opponent.
The revolutionary love framework has encouraged me in my community-engaged work to choose to wonder, grieve, and fight for the stranger in my community, allowing me to see the need for collective action, solidarity, and empathy. It has allowed me to dive deeper in my work towards social change and contribute in more meaningful ways to my community partners.
Personally, this first act of revolutionary love has been the most natural to incorporate. During COVID, however, while most of my work is being done independently, it has been easy to feel isolated and disconnected from the communities that I have been working with. When we are intentional about wondering about those whom we would typically call strangers, social problems become much more urgent and we become willing to fight against oppression, even if it does not directly affect us. Actions like critical reflection and spending time with my mentor have allowed me to see common values and goals in my community and to better understand how my own work can contribute to the community.
Tend to the Wound: Loving Our Opponents
The second act of revolutionary love calls us to reimagine our rage and use it to imagine the humanity of our opponents. It calls us to listen to their stories and begin to reimagine who our opponents are. In contrast, the second act of revolutionary love is the most unnatural part of the compass to me.
Although I struggle with this part of the framework the most, it is also the area where I know that I can grow to continue contributing in more meaningful ways. While I find it easy to blame individuals that I see as opponents when looking at various social issues, it has been much harder to try to understand, reimagine, and listen to my opponents. My biggest growth has been learning how to redirect my rage to push for systemic change and a future of wholeness.
My biggest growth has been learning how to redirect my rage to push for systemic change and a future of wholeness.
This changes how I will engage with community partners because I will make a conscious effort to turn from the natural “us vs. them” mentality. While it’s true that there are individuals who work to uphold systems of oppression and others who chose to remain ignorant to how the status quo affects our communities, for me, it is has been important to remember that inequality is built into our systems and institutions and is not solely the result of my opponents.
Because issues of inequality, like racism and ableism, are baked into our society, it will take more than an “us vs. them” approach to bring about social change. I also have found it important to remember that working to “heal the wound” is not mutually exclusive from fighting against injustice, standing for the oppressed, and empowering the marginalized. We need to focus on all of these areas to create real social change.
Revolutionary love does not tell us to hide our rage when acts of injustice occur, but rather urges us to focus on the future that we are fighting for and not just what we are fighting against. Of course, it’s not the job of the persecuted to wonder about and reimagine one’s own oppressor. However, it is our collective responsibility, when we do have privilege to work to heal the wound between us and our opponents, especially for our brothers and sisters who are actively being oppressed by them.
Breathe and Push: Loving Ourselves
And finally, revolutionary love calls me to love myself by pausing, to reflect, breathe, and take care of my physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional self. Kaur refers to this as “breathing and pushing.” We must take care of and love ourselves to avoid burn-out and to continue fighting for justice and committing to community-engaged efforts.
Taking time to love myself feels unnatural. Typically, when I am doing community-engaged work, I am so focused on learning with and from the community and about the social issues we are tackling. On the surface, spending time on myself feels selfish. However, as I have reflected on the purpose of loving myself as a form of revolutionary love during the last few months, I have found myself more engaged with my work and more fulfilled in my daily life. I am passionate about so many issues, but taking the time to care for my own needs has allowed me to be better equipped to be a student and a community-engaged learner and leader. Loving ourselves is courageous and empowering. The refreshing feeling that comes from consciously loving myself allows me to continue pushing for social change, even when it seems overwhelming.
I am passionate about so many issues, but taking the time to care for my own needs has allowed me to be better equipped to be a student and a community-engaged learner and leader.
Valarie Kaur’s message was inspiring but also practical and greatly needed in social change work. To me, this framework is revolutionary, bold, and yet incredibly simple. It’s revolutionary because it will be key to creating social change. It’s bold because it calls on us to reimagine how we approach our work and systems change. But somehow it is still a simple message: to love each other, our opponents, and ourselves.
I hope that as I share my reflections, you will be encouraged to reflect on ways to incorporate revolutionary love into your life and daily practices as well as into your community-engaged work. You can also take advantage of the Learning Hub on Valerie Kaur’s website for more ways to incorporate this framework into your life and specific resources for each piece of the revolutionary love compass.
Alex Foley ’22 is a junior studying Industrial and Labor Relations at Cornell University, and aspires to have a career in public-interest law. On campus, Alex is an Engaged Ambassador, a brother in Alpha Phi Omega, and is on the Class of 2022 Council. This summer Alex is doing research with the Worker Institute’s Labor Leading on Climate Change Initiative and working with Portillo’s Restaurants to help develop their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion strategy.
