Sitting in Discomfort

At the end of every week, our team gathers to reflect and openly share what is going on in our minds, our lives, in our community, and the world.

A common theme in our experiences lately has been sitting and stumbling through our discomfort. We are in a liminal space — the threshold between worlds where transformation is set to take place. With transformation at the core of everything we do, you might say that we find ourselves living in the liminal quite often.

SheEO offers a brave space for each of us to come as we are, with an open heart to practice radical generosity in community.

In a few months time we will be formerly known as SheEO. If you haven’t heard yet, we’re in the process of changing our name.

In trust with our values, we’ve chosen to crowdsource and select a new name within our community. We’ve hosted open and generative discussions about this transformation over the past few weeks; which has been met with a spectrum of excitement, fear, and varying levels of discomfort with change.

When we say that we welcome cis and trans women and non-binary folks into our community and our current name centres on the gendered pronoun ‘she’ paired with a top down title like ‘CEO’, it feels very misaligned with these intentions…and changing our name can only do so much.

I’ve been sitting in the discomfort and liminal space of not knowing exactly what comes next with what we call ourselves. This serves as a reminder that despite not knowing, it is within my power right now to practice our community values and signal in the spirit of collectivism, reciprocity, equity and inclusion that we want to evoke with the new name that will eventually follow.

I continue to remind myself of my commitment to align new language with our actions and practices. As a team, we’ve been sitting in the discomfort of building behind the scenes and waiting to release new protocols and practices alongside a refreshed name and brand.

In listening to what our community needs, we have been reminded not to lose sight of the small ripples of continued action that will create the waves of radical generosity that power this community built on trust.

Here are some of the small ways I have been committing to show up and practice language in the communities I belong to:

• When I hear or use gendered language like ‘hey guys’ or ‘ladies’, I remind myself and others to practice language beyond the gender binary that includes everyone
• When I join a community event, I introduce my name, pronouns, and acknowledge the land and continuance of its people, which encourages others to do the same
• When someone corrects me for a mistake in something I have said (whether misgendering, using the wrong pronouns, or not considering more inclusive language), I thank them for the gentle reminder instead of over-apologizing and spiralling in guilt and shame. I will not strive for perfection, but intentional practice.

When we commit to unlearn and practice, it might be uncomfortable at first.

We will falter, we will mess up. At times, we will sit in the discomfort of our silence. We practice until it becomes our new normal.

When we call one another in to practice, it is an invitation to learn and unlearn.

We invite you to sit through the discomfort with us and push through perfection.

With practice, comes ease and the expansion of comfort with discomfort. It all starts with a practice of being radically generous with yourself.

“I will not be perfect, I will keep learning. I will also not be silent, I will keep learning.”
-adrienne maree brown, We Will Not Cancel Us: And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice

I invite you to share in the comments some of your commitments to practicing language in the community and how we can continue to embody our core values and practices as we bring forth a new name and shared narrative that aligns with this co-created future.