Year-end “exhale” with our Coralus community
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” ― Brené Brown: Daring Greatly.
Each of us has something valuable to share and express. A talent, particular interest, an area of expertise, or a problem we feel passionate about solving. Whether you call this your purpose or something different, what’s important is that this gift doesn’t stay inside you.
When the opportunity to participate in Confluence arose, I felt waves of excitement and fear. As a trauma-informed Coach and newly qualified Stress Release Practitioner, I knew that after years of searching and training in various methods, I had found my focus and healing signature. Somatic Stress Release is a holistic modality that resolves symptoms of stress accumulated in the body. When we become “stuck” in patterns of fight, flight and freeze, it helps us release and recover. It allows us to come home to our body and use that power to adapt and thrive. This was the problem I’d been trying to solve for many years, and I longed to share what I had learned with our Coralus Community.
My journey with burnout recovery and healing my hypervigilant nervous system began in 2016 after escalating health issues & deep feelings of discontent motivated me to walk away from my 25-year corporate HR career in professional services. After a decade of juggling 12–14-hour workdays, constant deadlines, and the pressures of parenting young children with complex medical needs and learning style differences, I had become exhausted and disconnected from the messages my body was sending me. Pushing through escalating symptoms of unmetabolized stress, like increased anger, abdominal pain, headaches, insomnia, muscle spasms and regular bouts of strep throat until they resulted in a debilitating health condition that left me bedridden and in chronic pain for over a year. From this place of forced stillness, I finally made the connection that when I don’t honour my needs for well-being, support, connection and rest, my body speaks up for me in inconvenient ways. This was a painful awakening and after a continued period of struggle, I surrendered to receiving help and started resourcing myself from the inside out, deconstructing the patriarchal conditioning that had kept me stuck in a cycle of “never quite enough” exhaustion and suffering. In 2017, I established my coaching and facilitation practice while completing training in Equine Assisted Learning and certifications in Executive Coaching and Mindfulness-based stress reduction. My focus started shifting toward Integrative Trauma Therapy and Somatic Stress Release (SSR) when it became apparent that many of my clients were struggling with COVID related challenges and compounding stressors and I wanted to find more effective ways to support them. It feels important to define — “Trauma is not what happens to us. Trauma is what happens inside of us as result of what happens to us. The effect of trauma is that we disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value, and the present moment.” Dr Gabor Mate.
Since becoming an Activator in May 2020, I’ve felt a deep sense of gratitude toward the Coralus community for the generous, world-class support and training I received when I needed to pivot my in-person practice to an online delivery model. I had no idea how or where to start — yet within weeks of joining, I was encouraged to ASK for support and connected to community members and resources that helped me feel confident facilitating virtual workshops and coaching sessions. As my capacity and confidence increased, I was able to keep the spirit of ASK/ GIVE in flow by volunteering as a community host and breakout room facilitator.
Preparing for Confluence, I felt excited to share my new skills, AND a little out of my depth; unsure where to begin. When the time came to put pen to paper, I was questioning my readiness and contemplating withdrawing. I was feeling STRESSED. But then I remembered “Stress happens (inside of you) when something you care about is at stake. It’s not a sign to run away it’s a sign to step forward.”― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress. I reflected on my WHY for signing up in the first place — helping myself and others transform their stress response to use that capacity to grow and thrive, and I realized that no one expected me to know everything or to show up perfectly. I knew enough to be of service and there were a host of people I could reach out to for support.
I jumped onto the Confluence preparation calls hosted by the Coralus team and Greaterthan and was immediately connected with the other presenters, a plethora of brilliant resources, ample encouragement, design tips, templates and delivery techniques. I took a deep breath and invited in the energy of ease, trust, safety, fun and connection to guide me through the creating process.
In the days leading up to Confluence, old patterns of perfectionism and overdoing started creeping in (how many times can one change the order of slides?). Whenever we step into a new challenge, worry, doubt and fear are usually right there alongside…activating our stress response cycle. Taking some deep belly breaths, then connecting with supportive others is an effective way to calm the nervous system and complete the cycle, so I reached out to fellow Activator and coach Milisa Burns to let her know I was spinning. I came away from our conversation feeling uplifted, hopeful and courageous. That’s the power of connection and our community — “when you choose to help others, you activate this state. Caring for others triggers the biology of courage and creates hope.”― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress.
Studies have shown that when we meet a stressful situation as a grounded, breathing and intentional being, we create the space to respond vs react. So, when I used the wrong Zoom account to sign in, then got booted out 1-minute before the workshop started with 39 people in the waiting room, I laughed at the irony of being stressed out for my stress-themed workshop and embraced the gifts of imperfection. I took a big sigh, signed back in and brought my whole self to the party. I forgot “to hit “record” until 5- minutes after; however it didn’t matter, because the energy of ease, trust, safety, fun and connection were already present…mirrored back in the faces of each participant. Our experiential learning container was created, and we invited playfulness and curiosity into our practice. As we tried out techniques to regulate our nervous system and come into heart resonance, there was a collective sigh and release.
If you have a gift or skills to share, a story to tell, or an idea to generate, please don’t keep them hidden away. The world needs your brilliance and this community offers a safe & supportive space to gather and test things out. If you aren’t sure how to begin, consider this an invitation to reach out to me and start a conversation, or connect with others in the community.
It’s also important to recognize that some of us are still living through the crippling effects of burnout and unprocessed stress. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is pull our energy inward, notice what is happening inside of us and ask, “what can I do to support my nervous system right now? What is one tiny action I can take to bring myself back into connection?” Whether that’s taking some deep breaths, going for a walk-in nature, hugging a loved one or pet, or reaching out to a friend, community member or mental health professional, if that’s you right now, I see you and encourage you to treat yourself like you would your very best friend. My Somatic Mindfulness teacher Lynn Fraser has some helpful practices that can offer relief in minutes.
“Ancient cultures have long understood that we exist in relationship to all, are affected by all, and affect all. Our brains and minds are not independent operators. Nothing about us, mental or physical, can be comprehended apart from the many-faceted milieu in which we exist. It is a reality of our interconnected nature.” Gabor Maté, MD. In this very sense, I noticed that sharing my Somatic Stress Release workshop during Confluence set off a series of synchronicities and exciting connections.
- Coralus Activator and fellow Somatic Practitioner Melanie Love (from Calgary) reached out and asked if she could visit me in Toronto. After 2-years of virtual friendship and supporting each other on our healing journey, I said yes.
- Melanie was working on a project with Vicki Saunders, and we ended up spending a wonderful afternoon in her garden, sharing stories and Melanie’s gift of fascia release and guided visualization.
- Nat and Arden had just been speaking to Vicki about how much they enjoyed my Confluence Workshop
- Vicki invited me to create a Somatic Stress Release session for our year-end gathering and also connected me with M.J Ryan to provide a centering practice for our ventures.
- I joined Corrina Grace’s (Author of The Weaver’s Way) small group session on collaboration and continue to benefit greatly from her wisdom and gracious facilitation approach.
It was wonderful to have this experience of flow and the opportunity to share my story with you. Thank you for staying with me to the end. In signing off I’d love to leave you with this quote that has never felt more true to me than right now: “We don’t accomplish anything in this world alone. And whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life. And all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.” — Sandra Day O’Connor.
Warmly,
Lisa Burchartz
Register now for the Year-end “exhale” with our Coralus community, hosted by Lisa Burchartz:
