You Have No Other Choice…
In the modern world, it seems as if too many people are offended too easily.
A lot of people are too caught up on the insignificant stuff.
Instead of taking actions to actively progress their lives, their wasting time arguing with others.
When you turn on the news what do you see?
Kids are easily offended by each other, so they commit knife crimes. The consequence, they receive years in prison, sit in a room and waste their lives.
Ask your friends, what are they doing this evening?
Watching Netflix or on Xbox. As a consequence, they still sit in a room and waste their lives.
I’ve had friends get offended by me saying I think they should take care of their health more and suggesting that they come with me to the gym.
On the other hand, I have had friends that have taken the advice on the chin, no matter how offended they are and decided to change their lives for the better.
Bother received the same advice, but it had two very different outcomes…
The difference? Resilience.
So, What Is Resilience?
According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is “The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress”.
It doesn’t mean you are void of emotions or stress, it means that you can think promptly, make rational decisions, and adapt to change of circumstances.
I mentioned knife crime in the beginning because if you’re easily offended and make a decision that will negatively impact you for the rest of your life, then this is the polar opposite of resilience.
Some people may have more resilience than others. The level of resilience they have would have been influenced by many factors throughout their lives:
- Personality
- Genetics
- Environment
- Relationships
- Life experiences.
However, resilience is a skill that you can learn and hone…
In the paragraphs that follow, I’ll explain and break down the 5 methods I used to develop resilience and how they WILL benefit you.
Yes, it’ll take effort and yes it will feel uncomfortable at first, but what other choice do you have?
1. Work Towards Something.
Working towards something is the first step in developing resilience.
You’re forcing yourself to go into unknown territory and potentially change the trajectory of your life. This is a big step.
Most people are too afraid to chase their dreams for a better life. Subconsciously they think “Life isn’t great but isn’t not bad enough to change”.
Their afraid of failure and humiliation, and because of this they are content. But the truth is we’re all afraid.
Even the most successful people are afraid, however, they push through their comfort zone and adapt.
If you go through life without a goal and work towards nothing of substance, life will push you around. It will seem difficult for no reason.
However, when you are working towards something you decide where you’re going and when you encounter a problem, you realise that you’re being taught a valuable lesson that you can learn from.
With a purpose in mind, you’ll have a different perspective, you’ll see past experiences as something to learn from, not complain about. You’ll use them to help you progress.
There are many ways in which you can find a sense of purpose and work towards something, such as:
• Building stronger relationships with loved ones.
• Leading a healthy lifestyle.
• Learning about different cultures.
• Creating art or music.
• Serving your community.
• Learn a new skill.
I’ve found purpose in several different aspects of my life. I learn about different cultures by learning different languages, I create closer connections with loved ones by actively engaging with them, and I learned a new skill like committing myself to practising the piano.
“You either have the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” — A Wise Man.
To find your sense of purpose, ask yourself various questions:
• What’s always interested me?
• What am I passionate about?
• What are my beliefs/values?
• What skills do I have and want to obtain?
• What are my goals/dreams?
As clearly as possible, try to answer as many of these.
This will help establish what you want, what goals to create and what to start working towards.
As I stated in my previous article ‘Setting goals is hard’, try to break down your goals into smaller steps. This way you’ll know exactly what to do, increasing your focus.
2. Believe In Your Abilities.
No one believed in anyone successful until they made it. They had to believe in themselves first.
Having confidence in your own abilities WILL provide you with the frame of mind to perform at your best.
There have been several times when in my life when I have had to believe in my abilities to complete a task and succeed: College exams, piano exams, interviews etc.
If you don’t think you’re capable, who else will?
Becoming more confident in your abilities will allow you to perform under stress and be resilient even when the odds are stacked against you.
Do you have trouble finding the confidence to perform in the real world? Try these methods:
Ignore the negative comments in your head — Most people have a negative dialogue running in their head because of comments others made years ago. They have had their confidence knocked and their abilities hindered because of it.
Be resilient. Change the narrative and create your own story, don’t have your life narrated by others.
Think of past accomplishments — Remember the effort you have put in to get to where you are now. If you practiced a craft you’ve most likely had to put countless hours in. Show it!
Challenge yourself — Put yourself in situations that are outside of your comfort zone and put your skills to the test. Have you been practising a new skill? Start a business, from it. Learning a new language? Go and talk to people.
Test your mental strength by doing something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the confidence. Take that course, join that club, learning that skill.
Seek feedback — Ask people you can trust for constructive criticism of your work. Listen to their opinions/ suggestions without being defensive or dismissive. Take notes and use their feedback to improve yourself and grow.
We’ve all lacked confidence at some point in our lives, but by actively taking steps to rewire our brains, our current state of mind can be a thing of the past.
3. Embrace Change.
The ability to adapt is one of the main components of resilience.
The more flexible you are, the more equipped you would be to respond to a situation of crisis.
During the lockdown when people lost their jobs & during recessions, people usually resort to one of two options:
Option 1 — Do nothing. See what happens and if the business will reopen and hope they get their old job back.
Option 2 — Use transferable skills they have learned in the past to start businesses, apply for new jobs or start side hustles.
Resilient people will almost certainly pick option 2. They’re usually able to accept the reality that has been handed to them better and use the cards they have been dealt to branch out into new directions.
Now, I’m not saying everyone must go out and start a business, it’s not for everyone. This is just a very realistic and extreme example of resilience being used in the real world.
There are a few ways in which you can embrace change:
- The first is, as stated earlier, to accept the reality of the situation. — instead of denying or avoiding the problem (which can only lead to escalation), you accept what has happened. You recognise that you can’t control everything, focus on what you can control.
- Look out for the silver lining — Look for the lessons in the crisis. In every situation, there is information you can get that could potentially open you up to a new perspective or skill under your belt.
- Explore new opportunities — Use the skills and knowledge that you’ve obtained to explore new opportunities and possibilities. Each skill and lesson learned is a key to opening another door.
Don’t get caught up in clinging to the past, be curious and get creative. Try new things that could benefit your life.
Be optimistic, and reframe your thoughts. When you face a difficult situation, instead of thinking “I’ve failed”, think “I know my weakness now, how do I improve”.
“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity.” ― John F. Kennedy
4. Take Action.
Taking action is what brings all the previous points together and puts theory into practice. It means doing something to improve your situation rather than waiting for things to change by themselves.
Action means:
- Facing your fears — Not letting your emotions stop you from performing. Yes, fear is a natural human emotion that alerts you from potential danger, however, it’s also the same thing keeping you in your comfort zone and content with the life you have.
- Be consistent and persistent — The journey you commit yourself to may not always be enjoyable, but that doesn’t mean you should give up when things get tough or don’t go as planned. Be consistent in your practice, persist when things get hard and be disciplined enough to keep up both. Don’t let setbacks discourage you.
“Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.” ― Mike Tyson
Conclusion:
Developing resilience can be tough, but it’s a vital skill to have in the modern world. It’ll help you successfully navigate through life’s stresses and challenges.
By engaging in the methods listed above, it’ll help you be able to successfully adapt to the ever-changing world we live in.
Nothing in life is ever set. Reminisce about the past, but don’t get caught up in it. Find something to work towards, believe in your abilities and TAKE ACTION.
The only thing stopping you from truly progressing is yourself…
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. If you found it helpful and think someone else could too, please share it📣📣.
A writer mainly on self-development. I occasionally write on personal experiences, interest and other topics too. If you are interested in self-development, then please read some of my other articles (linked below). Enjoy.
