My Moment
Growing up, english was never my strong suit. I have always hated it because I felt intimidated in a way. It made me discouraged and made me detest writing essays. The sole reason being that it caused me feel stupid. During high school in my sophomore year, there was a paper assigned on a book that we read and I put a lot of effort into it. When I received the grade it was completely different than what I thought i deserved. All of my friends were bragging about their A’s and always turned it into a competition; they made sure I knew that they had gotten the better grade, and it made me feel even more discouraged.
I have not tried to my fullest extent ever since feeling put down by my friends. In high school I would not always try my hardest, so when the time came to write my college essay, I knew I was in a predicament. I wanted this piece of writing to be the best I have ever written but I could never put myself to do it. Prolonging it until the very last minute, I was worried so I knew I had to ask for help. I thought that writing something I was familiar with would be easy to write about especially since the topic is about my life,but I could not have been more wrong. Putting my personal life struggles and thoughts on paper was tedious because it was difficult to admit and let everything out. No one knew, so why write about it? I could just never get past the aspect of putting myself out there and allowing myself to feel vulnerable, whether that was in real life or just on paper. That has always been an aspect that I disliked about myself. I have a myriad of thoughts when it comes to writing but at times like this, I cannot articulate them into concisive sentences. Over time I want be able to change that particular detail of myself in hopes of being able to express myself better in writing and in life. Things like this cannot be rushed however because they require time to get over. Writing my college essay helped me understand this and marked a turning point in my life.
I asked my mom’s friend and my ex boyfriend’s mom, Shannon, to help me accomplish what I dreaded. We have a special and unique relationship unlike others. My mother would always talk about how I should ask her for help because her writing is pretty amazing and intelligent. I could tell by the way she would word things when she either texted or talked to me. She used to be a teacher at my middle school but now she works with special education kids; when i asked her, she was more than happy to help.
She made me clear everything one day just to work on my essay. Having me turn off my phone and my laptop, she hid them from me while making me work in my computer room. The first step she had me do was write all my thoughts on a piece of paper and then pick the topics I wanted to show in my essay. She was aware that I had a rough four years of high school when it came to my personal life. My grandmother’s breast cancer followed by her death, my mom’s thyroid cancer diagnosis along with the possibility of me having it, and my father’s ongoing health issues with multiple sclerosis have put a lot of stress on me mentally and emotionally. Having to take on such great responsibility at a young age made me realize it is crucial to appreciate the little things in life. I came to the decision that I wanted to talk about my life and how I persevered through the obstacles that were thrown at me.
Dancing since I was three years old, I ultimately made the choice to quit because I thought it would make me feel better, while in reality all it did was make matters worse. I wanted to change but that meant I had to put in effort. I felt as if the world would literally come down upon me if anybody were to find out, but I realize now how false that statement is. It was extremely difficult to articulate my words and get my point across, but she made it possible. She never put me down, but always brought me up. She never made me feel discouraged, but instead brought happiness. Most importantly, her words helped me.
I wrote out at least five different college essays and did not use any of them. They were each about the same struggles that went on in my life for the most part, just worded in a different manner. I picked at least a paragraph from each one and built it up from there. Working for hours on end, I finally felt accomplished but still had a long way to go. She told me to come back to it in about four to five days and reread it. Listening to what she told me, I hated some paragraphs and sentences of it and loved other parts. Imminently, the process began again, but I only made 2 drafts then picked out what would’ve fit best. After a couple more hours of working hard, I finally had my complete college essay.
After having all of my friends and family read and revise it, they claimed that it was the best work they have ever seen from me. They did not actually believe that I wrote it because they thought it was so good. My mom and best friend even teared up while reading it. I realized in order to have work I would be proud of, I had to set aside some time and know my priorities.
The lesson i learned from this whole experience is that you have to work hard and put in the effort in order to receive the grade or anything it is that you want. Writing this essay and the process of it helped me realize how to write exceptional work. When Shannon took away my phone and made me work solely on the essay, I was a little irritated, but working for those long hours made me thankful in the end. The outcome of this made me realize that i am capable of writing a good quality essay.
