Day 5 — Talk It Out

A Day In The Life Of Sobriety

Something that took me a long time to realize is, when I have something on my mind, talking it out helps a lot. Before I got sober, I had no friends left. I had pushed everyone away at the end. I talked to my cats, but the problem there is, they can’t talk back. I would write in my journal, but even that didn’t help because I only had my input. I didn’t have any other opinion or experience.

When I got sober I not only had a hard time trusting people, but I was also not used to asking for help. I thought I would be a burden if I asked for help, or said “I’m not doing well” when someone would ask how I was. Over time I realized that I am not a burden on someone who genuinely cares about me.

So, I started small. I built a relationship with my sponsor, and went to him when I had something on my mind. It was difficult at first because I felt like I was complaining all the time. But when I realized he genuinely cared about my welfare, and genuinely cared about how I was doing, I was able to open up more. Although, in the beginning I still held back. My sponsor would say “how are you?”, and I would say fine, or good. And then he would say, “how are you really?” Boom. He knew I wasn’t doing okay, even though I said I was.

It took me a long time to learn the difference between being a constant complainer, and letting someone know I wasn’t okay. A constant complainer complains about everything. Nothing is ever good, and the world is always ending in some shape or form. But letting someone know I am not okay is different. It is a fine line, but a line nonetheless.

Tonight, that point was reiterated. I had had a bad day at work. Someone neglected to give me the information I needed, stuff didn’t get done, and they blamed me for the error. Normally I would let this roll of my back, say this is not on me, and carry on with my day. But for some reason, it was eating my lunch when I got home. I couldn’t shake it off.

When I got to my meeting I ran into a friend of mine, and he said “how are you?” Instead of saying “I’m good”, while feeling torn up inside, I said “not so good”. He asked me what was up, and I gave him the gist of it. And that’s when the magic happened. He passed along some wisdom that his father had shared with him, which in turn helped me a lot. He also said I was there at the meeting, and that was good too.

Having a good support system has been incredibly important to me and my sobriety. I have real friends today, who care about me, and my welfare. I in turn can be supportive back, and help them when they need me. Having people around that I can go to and say “I’m not okay today, and here’s why”. Being able to get advice on a problem, or another perspective on something that I didn’t previously see. But most importantly, having people to talk to, and a way to get the shit out of my head helps a lot.

If you’re new to sobriety, be honest. Not only with yourself, but with others as well. Build a good support system of sober people that you can turn to. Be open to receiving help, and to seeing things from a new perspective. And, last but certainly not least, be willing to try new ideas or follow advice. Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are just part of the foundation to good sobriety. But no less important.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, please click the green heart at the bottom of the page to recommend to others!

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.