Day 6 — Self Care
A Day In The Life Of Sobriety
For those of you who have been following this week, you may or may not have noticed that I took yesterday off. The reason for that was, self-care. Between the full moon, stress at work, belated panic about talking about being in recovery with a co-worker, and a general funk, I just couldn’t write.
The belated panic wasn’t clear to me until last night. I had been in a funk since Monday, but I just thought it was because of my birthday approaching. That was part of it, but it was also because I get anxiety when I share big. Sharing with someone at work that I’m in recovery is a big deal for me. So, a week later, the panic hit me. But, after realizing that, I’m okay. I’m able to recognize it faster now.
Part of the funk was about my upcoming birthday as well. During 12-step meetings, usually at the beginning, they ask “are there any birthdays?” Then, someone inevitably says “how’d you do it?” It’s the “how’d you do it?” part that makes me nervous. Even today I still get self-conscious when someone gives me a compliment. Sometimes I don’t feel I deserve it. But deep down, I know I do.
So, since yesterday was my day off, I gave myself a break. That is the only effective way to deal with being in a funk. If you’d like to read more on how I get through the funk days, you can read that here:
Today has been a bit of a rough day. These days it’s rare that I have a funk day, after 2 years sober, but they still…medium.com
I sat around all day in my pajamas, took a nap with my kitties, and didn’t fight the funk. I know today when I get in a funk, sometimes for days on end, it will pass. It’s all part and parcel in the human package. One thing I did do yesterday was, I went to my meeting.
Sometimes when I’m in a funk, I don’t want to go anywhere. Or do anything. I just want to sit and be still. But, I’ve learned that that isn’t always the best way to deal. The reason I love going to meetings is, no matter how blue, frustrated, angry, etc. I am, I always feel better after some time with my friends. And inevitably someone ends up saying something that I need to hear as well.
Today, sobriety is more than just not drinking for me. Sobriety means taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. It’s a package deal, and I can’t stay sober if one or more of those things is off balance. So, I eat right, meditate (not very well), pray, go to meetings, and take breaks when my body says “slow down”. And when something is off kilter, I use the tools in my toolbox to get back on track, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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