What to do when fear is holding you back
Growing up we never talked about being afraid of your own intentions. We talked about fear being a natural instinct, your fight or flight response. But in this real-life-adult-world…fear is paralyzing.
You know why fear is so hard to deal with? Because it doesn’t have a cure. It’s literally one of those diseases you’ve got to learn to cope with. I’m not going to lie to you and say that you’ll get over being afraid, because you won’t. But confronting fear and working through it will get easier.
Fear is…stress, depression, isolation, secrecy, indecisiveness
The quicker you can confront your fears, the more time you have to be out here chasing purpose. So, if you realize you’re experiencing symptoms of fear, here’s what to do:
1. Say “fuck it”
Now I don’t mean just dismiss your issue, but detach yourself from the outcome. Know you’ve done everything possible and that at this point it’s do or die. So no matter what happens you’ll figure it out because there’s no possibility of feeling worse than you do right now. Just say fuck it and take the leap. Accept that you don’t have control.
2. Embrace your flaws
You are not perfect and your work won’t always be either. Especially in the learning phase. Take the time to embrace the present moment. Don’t rush yourself according to your expectations, but do keep yourself accountable to your goals.
This attitude allows you to be more vulnerable, and it empowers you to take more risks. When you don’t feel boxed in by a false identity you can maneuver through life with less stress, less anxiety, less heaviness.
We set so many 5 and 10 year goals that we don’t even realize we’re living in the moments that will take us there.
3. Get better associates
Talking about your fears is the number one way to get through them. But that’s hard if you don’t have people in your life who understand what you’re going through.
Challenge yourself to form mutually impactful relationships. You need people around you who will affirm your strengths, giving you more ammo to overcome your fears. Build a network that leads to new experiences with people who will inspire you to be greater than your fears.
Ultimately, you’ve got to make a decision...
A lot of times our fear is rooted in staying where we are. It’s this trigger that goes off when we’re not quite focused and we can’t track how much closer we’ve gotten to the “place” we want to be.
The key is to forget about perfection and be prepared for nothing to go as planned. Trust me, the next time fear sneaks up on you, and you feel that clinching in your chest, take a deep breath, release the need to protect your ego, and choose happiness.
I’m really writing this as therapy to myself but I think other people could use these words too. If this was something you needed to hear drop me a comment and let me know.
Peace + Love,
