A Close Look Into My Life….
Hello once again! I do apologize for this delayed account of how the Lama was fortunately able to grace our village, but oh my what a day it was! The day he arrived gave my simple life as a novice nun such meaning and merit, that I am at a loss of words to truly articulate how magnificent it was. The amount of preparation that went into his visit was so precise and detailed, that it exhausted the people of my village to such an extent, that a days rest of recounting the events was most definitely needed. In the wake of the recent tragedies that engulfed the village, I was afraid we weren’t going to be able to pull through together as a community to welcome the Lama, but I’m glad my anxiety was put to rest. As we recently experienced the harsh after effects of both the hailstorm, and the spread of the deadly Naga illness, resources have become scare, and people were scattered around different parts of the village building and replenishing what little they could. As my secondary skill lies in building, I was quite busy offering resources and helping as much as I could with the re-building of infrastructures, while focusing on my primary skill of scholarship to create the invitational letter for the lama, which was to our delight was received with such reverence. In the letter the nuns and I continually praised the Lama by highlighting the great qualities that he possesses, and offering him our gratitude for even thinking of gracing our village with his presence. The other important members of the village including the farmers have also been busy replenishing our crops and fields, as we were hoping to gain enough food to serve the Lama as a form of blessing for his visit. The builders were able to successfully cross the bridge, after its reconstruction to gather more resources, and the artists were able to successfully construct the mandala, drawing and paintings of the lotus, and eight auspicious signs, needed for the commemoration of the Great Lama.
There were many small details that went into the preparation of the Lama’s visit, but I must say that observing and learning each one of them as a novice nun has taught me a great deal. For one we had fires that were to remain lit throughout the duration of the Lama’s visit, and I learnt these fires would help be-rid us of demons, while maintaining purity and ensuring positive energy. As all the villagers were busy attending to the welcoming ceremony of the Lama, the event became a memorable way to unite us as a true sangha, with the spirit of faith and dharma in our hearts. Once the Lama arrived and graced us with his presence, I as I’m sure many of my village members felt in such awe of his presence, and the wisdom he instilled upon us. Just his mere arrival, allowed us nuns to feel even closer to dharma then was possible in the confines of the nunnery. Seeing the great Lama, this bodhisattva, who proved to not only be a qualified teacher, and who is not only all knowing in the teachings of dharma, but one who constantly practices compassion and peace was just…. as I’ve said before words cannot describe the experience. Even as I am writing right now I am even overcome by my emotions, which are leaving tearstains all over my writing. I just pray that the Lama, who promised us a great many things, can finally lead my fellow nuns and I on the path of nirvana. Although the Lama did learn that we as a village were struck with both impermanence and suffering, he stated that we should attempt to be strong, and move away from this vicious cycle. He further stated, that he would bless us with the strength to do so, but one thing we could do in the mean time is mentally have the strength to prepare ourselves for recovery. The ceremony itself was very traditional, and ran smoothly to everyone’s great relief. As soon as the Lama approached the monastery, all us village folk gathered along his path, and began chanting mantras and prayers suited specifically for his arrival. The heart sutras were played, and the melodious voices of my people felt as if they were touching each and every mountain of the Himalayas that surrounded us. The Lama then proceeded to the seating area we had designed for him, with the help of the monks, and the ceremony continued. The length of the ceremony ran longer, than most would expect, however I felt as if the Lama could sense our great despair at the tragedies that had hit our village over the last month, and so he went into great detail with his teachings, and allowed us to ask questions regarding dharma practices, the eight-fold path, specific rituals etc. The Lama focused on ignorance specifically in his speech, and reiterated to us that we as a village should attempt to overcome ignorance, in order to gain wisdom; otherwise it remains a hopeless cause. He also said that, as a village we have done a great job in helping one another in light of the recent tragedies that hit our village, as continuing to think only of oneself will bring about suffering, He continued by highlighting how our intentions are so important, since they are the roots of our actions, which leads to the creation of positive and negative energy affecting our well-being.
In focusing on the Lama’s visit for the past couple of weeks, and my own struggles as a newly ordained novice nun, I have not been able to provide much information about the nunnery life itself. As my village is in a remote community, it is quite difficult for girls to become successfully ordained here. The girls are not free to make their own decisions, and constantly need the consent of a father or husband to choose this monastic life, and I think that is why I knew I had to leave my family, as living with them would have destroyed my own desire to become part of this life. And although in my previous entry I did mention how dearly I miss them on some days, without this life and my hopes and dreams destroyed, I would have just become a sad burden on my family. At least here I am constantly challenging myself to become the person I had dreamed of, while walking to this remote village months ago. I had dreams that spiritually lifted me to join the nunnery life, and as for my family they wished to see me become the ideal daughter, and then finally marry, but once again I must remove myself from these negative thoughts, and focus on something more positive, as the Lama encouraged us to do. When I arrived here I was delighted in seeing the monks holding a great amount of pride for their scholarly contributions, while receiving warmth and generosity from the other villagers, and that is why I took those long brave steps to carry myself towards the path of the nunnery.
Sadly though in the short amount of time I’ve been here I’ve learnt that the life of a nun, does not sustain the same privilege as the life of a monk. If you are to look at the locations of the monastery and the nunnery, you will see that we are located at the far side of the village closer to the mountains, leaving us rather at arms length when it comes to local resources. Although the nunnery is quite ancient to put it simply, with mere wood binding the walls, it has become home, and I as a strong advocate of Buddhist learning, must accept my faith and deal with it in a positive manner. And so I have found places to fall in love with within the nunnery, including the garden that my dear nuns have set up, that is so rich in beautiful smells you feel like you could live in it forever. Despite the fact that our nunnery might not resemble the grand luxuries seen in the monastery, we the nuns know that we can help our village people, and that we have the courage to show them how important we all are in uniting a village together.
Those are my thoughts for the day, I do apologize for the rambling, but there has been so much going on in this life of mine that I never knew would actually come to fruition. I will be back soon, until then I give my blessings to you all ☺
