A Nun’s Role on the Arrival of a Lama
Ngado deleg, and what a good morning it is! I just got news that the lama has decided to come visit our village! All my sisters here at the nunnery are very excited and everyone is in a hurry to begin preparing what we can for the visit. But looking around at our small nunnery, it is very cramped and there is not much space for everyone to be working on offerings and preparations. I decided to go ask an older sister how it’s possible to fit the lamas visit in our small home.
She told me that the lama would not be coming to the nunnery, but instead he would visit the monastery and the entire village would travel there to see the lama. I have only ever seen the outside of the monastery and it is a much bigger, cleaner, and elegant looking place than our nunnery. Our nunnery is falling apart both on the outside and inside, and in comparison to the monastery it looks dilapidated. Especially after the hailstorm, we still have not been able to fix many of the problems afflicting our home.
In our village, we do receive lay support, as they will receive merit for helping us, but in many cases monks will accept and collect more resources than us. Women in our village are treated well, but not treated the same way as men. Men in general have much higher education levels and take on a much more diverse range of skills and jobs. Women are often expected to fulfill home duties and this pressure normally comes from the family. Maybe it’s because I have two older sisters but my parents knew that I was meant for an ascetic life and that’s why they sent me to live with my aunt at such a young age. I am so grateful for their support and I know that this is the right path for me.
Thinking about my sisters and I and the lives we lead has gotten me to start reflecting on women in Buddhism. Every Buddhist knows the story of Mahapajapati Gotami, the Buddhas foster mother, who was the first women to be ordained. I remember being very little and my mother reading her story to me before bed, how she asked the Buddha to be ordained and he originally said no. Pajapati wouldn’t take no as an answer and she continued to shave her head and wear yellow robes, collecting followers of women on her way. Eventually the Buddha gave in and she was the first ordained nun. I loved that story growing up and always looked up to Mahapajapati Gotami as a role model, but it was not until later that I learned more about different influential women in Buddhism.
I came across the Therigatha when I first came to the nunnery. Alama gave it to me to read and through my study of it, I am much more aware of the influential women in Buddhism. One woman who really stands out to me is the great nun Patacara. I often read over her teachings and stories because I find them very enlightening. After the extreme loss of all her loved ones, Patacara went to the Buddha in severe grief and he spoke to her the way of the Buddha path. Right after this occurrence Patacara was ordained and began her journey for enlightenment. What is so admirable about Patacara was her ability to reach out to other women and aid them in their quest for nirvana and the true ways of the Buddha. In the Therigatha she is described as a very skillful woman, who expressed her talent by teaching others. Patacara gained a large following of other nuns who looked to her as this great teacher and trusted in her the leadership skills to help lead them to enlightenment.
In the Therigatha; there is a poem that Patacara wrote accounting the moments before her enlightenment. At the end of the poem the last line read;
When the lamp went out
my mind was freed.
I always go back to this poem to reflect on my path to enlightenment and what I need to do and achieve to get there. Patacara is a great example of a woman in Buddhism who has imitated the Buddha in as many ways possible, and is someone I wish to imitate in my life. The last line of her poem echoes what I have learned about the Buddha path; that through periods of intense concentration, in that moment after in relaxation is when the mind is liberated and one reaches enlightenment.
I have learned that intense concentration is a big part of my life. I have closely examined sutras for scholarship and throughout each day intense concentration is needed in almost every aspect here at the nunnery. I know that if not in this life, then in a future one that it will pay off and I will reach enlightenment. I admire Patacara for her ability to channel her concentration and enforce the vinaya, and hope that if I model my life after hers I too with gain Buddha nature.
