Death

It has been a long time and yet I feel as if I am still recovering from Losar. The festival was, as always, an event to be remembered. I am in a wonderful community. I feel close and connected with those in this city and those times when I need to depart and rest in my own space, I am respected for doing so. There is nothing that an amchi and yogi could appreciate more.

I have recently been working more and more in the medicine factory, mainly by asking them what is needed that can be locally sourced and then going into the mountains to find the correct herbs. There has recently been a need for dbyi mong rigs, li ga dur, and lug mig, as well as other plants and herbs. These are not difficult to find, although I can be out for days at a time. It provides me the time to seek, communicate with nature and practice my tantra out in the open without people about. I do prefer to go alone, although sometimes I am joined by other doctors or hunters.

It was on one of these journeys that I thought of “Crazy Uncle”. That is the name given to him by many in the town. He has spent the majority of his time in and around his cave, living on his own. No one knows what he has been up to. There were rumours that he had been a tantric practitioner, some say that he merely wanted to drink chang in peace. But no one knew.
Even though there were rumours, no one sought him out, but rather let him be in peace. People must have sensed that he was still living in his cave, and had not moved to another area but no one knew. It was only the much older people in town who could remember him when he still lived and still commiserated with people. Then one day, he decided not to return. As far as the rumours go, he found a cave in a difficult to find place and has been living there ever since. That is, until he died.

Now, because I spend much time around my cave, and much time travelling around the mountains in and around our village, I have seen Crazy Uncle a number of times over the last decade. I know him to be a great tantric practitioner. I have seen him meditating and remaining at the same spot for days on end. Yes, I know that I did not watch him the entire three days, but every time I would return, he had not moved an inch. I wish I knew who his teacher was, because I cannot imagine that Crazy Uncle had learned all that he did on his own. Personally, I wish I could have been taught by him. He was a great tantric practitioner, of that I have no doubt.

I am sure some of you are thinking “why did you not go and speak with him? Ask him to teach you?” But I realized that I must respect his decision to be alone. There was a point where I wished to ask him to be my Rinpoche, but the fact that he has chosen not to return means that he was meant to be left alone. I will not disrespect him, as some of your fantasy Kung-Fu movies like to do. Yes, your Kung-Fu movies, which are enjoyable, but you have the white man always searching for the wise Asian man in the mountains, and then being disrespectful by harassing their peace. It is fine for the films, but not for reality.

But yes, like I said, Crazy Uncle has died. He was found by a shepherd on top of a hill near where he lived. From what I heard he was found dead laying on his back on top of a mountain. The shepherd had seen a strange looking mound. When he walked up to the mound, it was in fact Crazy Uncle twisted up in a fetal position. Now, one thing is for certain is that he had just recently died. His body was still fresh. This means that the proper rituals will need to happen, but no one really knows what funeral rites exactly should be performed on his body.

There has been a small community meeting in which I was invited. I told everyone of what I saw in regards to Crazy Uncle and that I believed he was a tantric master. But there was someone else at the meeting, Lobsang, and he told everyone that he feels that Crazy Uncle was merely crazy and drunk and does not believe what I saw. He says that, on rare occasions when he has gone out to hunt, he has seen Crazy Uncle screaming at trees, foaming at the mouth and drinking from homemade chang. This leaves everyone confused as to what to do.

But sadly, my views of what Crazy Uncle has been up to is losing its force. Two other people have also mentioned that they do not believe that he was anyone special but rather someone who preferred to live away from the community. It forces me to question what I saw when I watched Crazy Uncle those times. What did I see? Why do I think that he was so special? If I did not see what I think I saw, then I must have been delusional. Perhaps I saw only what I wanted to see in him. It has been so long since I have seen him. Perhaps I have had too many fantasies about people who live away in caves on their own and always assume them to be great masters. But I suppose some of them are merely drunks who are too ashamed to be in their communities.

One thing is for certain, is that they have found his body and someone must begin performing the first rites. My guess is that a Ngakpa will soon be called in to begin reading the Bardo Thodol. In your language you call it the Tibetan Book of the Dead. For us, it is a sacred text. In the text, it mentions that the consciousness of a person lingers from one life to another for 49 days. During this time, the one who died is still able to hear and so the Ngakpa will read the text aloud for the entire 49 days in order for Crazy Uncle’s consciousness to pass through the Bardos, or transitional states, unhindered. It is, essentially, a way to support consciousness to pass through all the different transitions consciously so they may have a healthy and aware rebirth in a human body with the continued potential to become enlightened. I had thought that Crazy Uncle may have been able to pass the Bardos on his own, but it has been agreed otherwise. I will respect the decision of the community and speak of what will happen to Crazy Uncle’s body as a layperson.

After three days, Crazy Uncle’s body will be taken away, but the reading of the Bardo Thodol will not cease. His consciousness will remain within hearing distance of the Ngakpa and so it must continue to be read. This will help not only to move through the Bardos, but since his body is removed, it will remind him to finally relinquish the body and move towards his new rebirth.

An astrologer will be invited next to determine the exact date for the proper funeral of the body. Normally, family members would wash the body in order to say goodbye to their loved one, but no one knows if Crazy Uncle has any family in our village. As well, no one has come up to say that they are family. But Crazy Uncle will still get the respect he deserves as a member of our village, and we will provide him with a proper burial.

Once the date is decided by the astrologer, Crazy will receive a sky burial. Now, people in the West and Middle East are often disgusted by the sky burial but it is one of the best and easiest methods for us to bury people here in the mountains. It is difficult to burn everyone, as they do in India since we do not have access to that much lumber. Cremation then is often left for those who are special and sacred people, such as yogis and Lamas. Sometimes we bury bodies, but it is nearly impossible to bury people since the soil is so shallow in so many places here in Tibet. So Crazy Uncle will receive the sky burial.

If you have difficulty reading about gore, then please stop reading, since I will describe the sky burial right now. What will happen is that Crazy’s body will be placed on a mandala shaped rock. He will then be cut open from the chest cavity, which will be directed by a Lama. There will be vultures about, ready to begin feasting on the corpse. The vultures will only eat when the ritual is completed. The body will be cut up according to ritual and then, out of pure compassion, it will be fed to the vultures. His bones and skull will then be crushed into dust, mixed with barley and fed to the vultures. In this way, the cycle of life is complete. One is born into this world, one will then die in this world. One cannot take their body and so it will be fed back to nature, to nourish and continue life to move further. This aids in the consciousness no longer being attached to their body, so they can move onwards.

I believe as well that a group of people will go out, find Crazy Uncle’s cave, and bring back his belongings. Some monks will go out there first to light incense and chant The Perfection of Wisdom in order to clear the air of any demons. They will then take all his belongings and give them to charity or to a temple. Of that I am sure.

Now, it must be understood that there were a number of rumours about Crazy Uncle. He did not spend time in the village, but he was known, and there are a number of people who respected him greatly, and like myself, are saddened that he is not receiving an honourable cremation. These people will most likely build a fire outside and chant mani hymns, songs of sadness and grief, in Crazy Uncle’s name. We cannot hold onto him and the time of death is the time for us to realize the truth that he will no longer inhabit the body we knew him in and will no longer be with us. We must let him go.
I personally feel a great sadness. I feel as if I missed a great opportunity to know him. In some ways, I am like him, and in my connection to who I perceive him to be, I know myself better. I will also join the singers and sing songs of sadness to begin to let him go. I wish you well, fellow reader, I do not know when we will meet again.

Ta do-ran-sha.