Disposition #2: The Calm after the Storm

I took in a shaky breath and focused on the consistent dripping of cold rain water on my forehead. Exhaling, I looked up towards my ceiling and felt my body tremble at the sight of the gaping holes left behind from the hailstorm. Small whimpers came from beneath me and I visibly relaxed at the sight of my 6 year old daughter clutching onto my legs with all her might. Picking her up into my arms, I swept aside our tarp and stepped out into the aftermath of the storm.

My name is Sungai Cahaya and I live in a small Himalayan village on the mountainside. The only family I have left is my daughter and the two of us tend to our small barley crop… or we used to. The storm has caused massive damage to not only our piece of farmland, but to all the other farmers as well. Some say that someone who offended the spirits brought on the storm, and some say that it was bound to happen due to the lack of protective magic rituals being practiced. In the end, it has happened and now the village needs to work towards recovery.

During the storm, our connecting bridge to the outside of the village was destroyed and the village immediately began to work towards repairing it. Just before, we were informed that the next village over had offended a Naga spirit. This was terrible to hear, after all the recent destruction. Some of our villages went over to help them handle the spirit. I wonder if they will perform a Bsang, a purification ritual. I had wanted to go, even had my daughter urge me to go, but I had a responsibility to stay home. With no one left to watch over her and help her tend to our barley crop, it would be a very long couple of days for me. Also, I needed to start right away on conversing with another builder to help fix the gaping holes in my roof.

The damage done to our village does not worry me. If something did bring this on, some person or some element, then it must have happened for a specific reason. Perhaps this is some version of karma coming back to someone in particular. Suffering is a part of being born into a human, and as Buddhist, we must allow whatever is happening to happen. All we can do is hope that we are living in a proper Buddhist fashion that will satisfy the gods and the spirits. This way, it’ll bring us closer to escaping Samsara.

I’ve been told that three families in the village were the only ones to buy amulets to help protect them against the storm. In the end, the reason for not buying the protective amulets is my fault. My reasoning was that I had been saving for so long and I underestimated the sheer power of the Sky gods, so when the storm came, I had been unprepared. The families who had purchased amulets had their homes and lives intact, but they felt the weight of the storm just like the rest of us. They immediately set to helping clean up the village, repairing the bridge, and getting supplies together to take to our neighbouring village.

It’s going to take my farm, along with the rest of the village, a little while to be at ease again. I will forage for whatever is left of my crop and the majority of it will go along with our travelers to take to our neighbours in the next village. In this way, our village could build up our karma. But this makes one think, if we help our neigbours in their fight against the naga spirit, does that bring bad karma onto us? Do our actions mirror our subconscious telling us that if we help, we then get karmic benefit? Would this then cancel out whatever benefit we would have received if we had just done it out of the pure goodness of our hearts? In the end, is merit really there?

I hear faint sniffles and looked down to watch the silent tears slip down the round flushed cheeks of my daughter. I hold her close and murmur reassuring words while I watch the other villages finish up their work on the bridge. Others get started on cleaning up the torn pieces of ceilings and doors that have been strewn throughout the roads. No one shouts, and no one gets angry. Everyone has retreated into themselves to find shelter. Hard lines are set into the faces of the adults around me and I can see that everyone is in survival mode. Suffering is apart of being human and we must be grateful to the Buddha to have allowed us the life we have. It’s the calm after the storm, and all the villagers have one thing on their minds: we will suffer, but we will endure and survive.