the end
Some time has passed since I wrote down my thoughts. I plan to leave my memoirs behind as the record of my journey through this life to the next with the goal of liberation. With the purpose of leaving behind just as another example to one day assist next generations, or even a few, through the elimination of Duhkha (suffering) in this illusion called samsara.
In this life I want to find a path to discover my inherent Buddha-nature and reach the ultimate goal of enlightenment. Buddha-nature is a term, explaining all beings are born with the potential of buddha-hood through taking the path most suited for that being, that derives form the Mahayana tradition. Mahayana tradition of Buddhism has a more innovative and open nature that is expressed through the idea of Upaya. The definition of this sanskrit word literally means “expedient skill” and is a central idea that creates the major differences between the Theravada and Mahayana sects. This notions effects are clearly seen in the differences between the ideals, laity and scriptures of the two major traditions.
Mahayana buddhism even goes on to conceptualize a more complex understanding of the Buddha through the doctrine known as Upaya, which is the understanding that a truly skillful teacher, like the revered Buddha himself, will have diverse means to accomplish his or her task of bringing their students to awakening. This new understanding of The Buddha is expressed in the doctrine called The Three Bodies.
There are three respective aspects: Phenomenal body, which refers to the historical Buddha being pure of karma, Body of Bliss, explaining that the Buddha out of his great Upaya manifests him self in many ways, one of those being by creating realms of existence that beings can be reborn in where it is easier to achieve enlightenment, and Buddha Nature, well I’ve explained that already. The real challenge in life is to find the path to one’s awakening.
All my life I have been a person who has practiced and followed the Mahayana tradition. Through my studies of sacred scripture, contemplation, meditation and ritual practice I found the hardest challenge to be finding the path that would lead me to realize my buddha-nature. Thats why Im keeping a record of my path. So that maybe people like me can go through less of a struggle, through familiarizing with what is left behind, realizing the ultimate goal of existence is to eliminate suffering and that this is best done by withdrawal from structures, ties to society which are the major causes of that suffering. By doing so one can follow the Four Noble Truth’s, contemplate and meditate without being distracted and reach enlightenment in a more endurable, fast way.
The reason behind me not being able to write for the past few weeks is because an illness has taken over my body. After finding the cave in the rain storm, I decided to wait for the weather to ease and clear up before moving on. Sitting in the cave staring at drawings that were on one side of the wall, fully concentrated on the details, found myself in some sort of trance. Hypnotized by how art in this cave was portrayed, in a fashion that even the smallest details contribute to the larger picture in a very significant way.
When finally I snapped out of the trance state that took over my mind and body for a fraction of time unidentified, something in the corner of the cave caught my attention. Situated at the back corner was an object, it looked like something that had been put away in an unobtrusive manner. Noticing, as I got closer to this mysterious item, it was wrapped around old but once presumably costly cloth. When I picked up and unraveled the content shivers went down my spine. It was a book but not just any book. I was holding a very aged copy of the Bar-do thos-grol.
Widely known in Tibet as Liberation Through Hearing During the Intermediate State and that took on the title of The Book of the Dead in the West. This couldn’t have been a coincidence, this was one of the books I had read and contemplated on the most before my departure of the life I lived as Rinchen the village builder. After pondering for a very long time on whether or not to bring a copy along on the journey of the rest of my life but had decided to leave it behind. Obviously a mistake on my behalf, I was not supposed to leave my copy!
My interest towards The Book of the Dead had to do with wanting to know what my beloved parents had gone through when they left this life to move on to the next. My villages nunnery and monastery each had a copy, printed in with the wood block in our press. Wanting a copy for myself I had hand copied it down as for my own edition.
Bar-do thos-grol was written by Padmasambhava in the 8th century; funny enough it was discovered by one of his disciples in a cave, supposedly like the one I stay in currently. Discovered in the 14th century the tertön (revealer) named Karma Lingpa who was believed to be the reincarnation of Chokro Lü Gyeltsen. Between the 13th and 16th century theological ideas on death formed, creating an array of scriptures on dying, death rituals, prayers for the dead and speculations on the afterlife originating from this time period.
The Bardo-Thodol is intended to guide one through the experiences that a persons consciousness has after death. Bardo by word definition means “transitional state”. There is believed to exist a 49 day intermediate stage between death and one’s next life. The Concept of bardo has given shape to different funeral practices and understandings of the transitions between lives. There are six different states of “Bardo” namely, the Kyenay bardo (skye gnas bar do), Milam bardo (rmi lam bar do), Samten bardo (bsam gtan bar do), Chikhai bardo (‘chi kha’i bar do), Chönyi bardo (chos nyid bar do), Sidpa bardo (srid pa bar do).
Only the first three occur during one’s current existence: the bardos of birth, dreaming, and meditation. I have experienced my share of each of these three states in my past growing up back at the village and up until my present point. However I felt the time was near to begin understanding what I needed about the transitional state which I have yet to experience. I began to think about the death of my parents, the transition they experienced and their rebirths.
It begins with the commencement of the Chikhai bardo, the bardo during the last breathing days of life. I believe this is a very important moment because no matter how little or how much you have gained or lost at this point, it is here where you truly must denounce all of your physical inner and outer belongings, including time and perception, back to the universe before your soul moves on. I had come a long way from my life as a builder, but I was still not sure if the state of my soul was ready for death. The Chikhai Bardo is said to last a few days before you enter the second stage or the Chonyid Bardo, so at least I had some time if I needed it to do my final denouncing.
From the extended time I spend studying The Book of death, I found a particular interest in the second stage, also known as the hallucinatory stage. Through all of my meditations, prayers and everything I know as a builder I have yet to experience a real hallucination. I know of others from my village who spoke of hallucinations during times of sleep loss or famine. Perhaps these people will be better equipped to experience the Buddha forms of the Chonyid stage post death than I.
The third and final stage of the 49 day process before rebirth spoken of in the Bardo Thodol is the Sidpa bardo. Here a journey is taken to the place of rebirth through 6 realms of existence. This stage crucially influences the form of one’s rebirth. People that have not studied or practiced the dharma should have a lama present during this stage that has knowledge and training in the ways of P’howa to ensure guidance to the transference of one’s consciousness into higher realms. One of the most known example of these higher realms is Ambitabha’s realm of Great Bliss. P’howa only has a short window frame, that is when the five sense capacity and four elements begin to dissolve allowing the consciousness to enter into this last intermediate bardo.
After reading a bit of the Bardo-Thodol for a bit I poked my head outside of the cave. It had stopped raining so I left to go find something to eat for the night and look for fire wood. The cave had gotten very cold since the storm, since all the logs and twigs that could be used in a fire were wet, it was difficult to keep my body temperature warm. Not being able keep warm I had gotten sick. Although my biggest mistake was to think if there is no rain it would be warmer but it was the opposite, cold and very windy. Everything was still very wet and I couldn’t find anything to eat so I came back to the cave empty handed and very, very cold. Not having firewood, I went to sleep with the Tibetan Book of the Dead under my head. Wondering how my funeral arrangements would be if any at all. Would it be different than my parents or similar, what was I going to be treated as? Again Crazy uncle popped into my mind how was he treated at death as a lay person or someone who is following the dharma? Any remaining debts of my physical existence left on my soul will only contribute to weakness in me reaching the clear light or dharmakaya. Shivering as i closed my eyes, good night world.
