Robin Jillian
Aug 15, 2018 · 3 min read

The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed.
— Joseph Campbell

You sense the calling to recreate yourself anew, becoming a grander version of yourself. You make big changes in your life or perhaps life has “thrust” them upon you. You hear a “voice” vibrating like a distant drum at the core of your soul, reminding you that you are not living in integrity with who you are desiring to become.

At first, you try and get comfortable with your discomfort, you cling to attitudes and behavior that provide security, you long for feelings of familiarity… you cry… you grieve your old life… you lose your faith and trust in source over and over… you fall… you stand up only to fall again… you become desperate for answers to questions that seem impossible to grasp with your rational mind….you demand to know “why me”… you feel like a victim of life… until you realize that your soul is answering the calling of your heart, and this is a gift. It is time to break free and become your true self.

It is time to fly and become a new you. You are no longer satisfied to be “small” even though it has been safe and rewarding for a long time. You recognize the life you have been living no longer serves you. Perhaps quietly at first, growing louder and louder, your heart says time to be authentically you… no longer can I hunger to live a harmonious life in alignment with my purpose, passion, and joy.

Thus the Dark Night begins without much warning and I remind myself over and over that I am coming face to face with the intention of my soul to grow and expand. I know with great disillusionment and the pain of losing what it means now to step out of the life I have known and enter the darkness. There is no going back to your old life, you want so much more now, and it feels more difficult than you could have imagined.

No matter how much you long for the familiar, you cannot shut down what you now know to be true for you… you are pulled in ways that take you into what appears like inescapable dark places. You remind yourself to be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, as your world crumbles. Aloneness and feelings of isolation become your natural state, you are in the shadows feeling lost, alone and scared. It appears as though your need for solitude cannot be broken or shared even though you want to feel connected to others.

This rite of passage takes you deeper into yourself than you have ever known. Your awareness is elevated and you now discover that you are not in control. Your old life has fallen away and it is time to build up your spiritual muscles and allow yourself the invisibility you may need to make the transition. Welcome to the gift of transformation, the Dark Night of the Soul.

As you surrender and allow spirit all it has to teach… you metamorphose into a more conscious and evolved you. Patience, surrender to love, and acceptance becomes your only allies now as you allow yourself to experience the paralyzing fear and insecurity of what feels beyond your understanding.

In time, what is no longer your truth has fallen away to a remembering of who you really are. Your life is richer, brighter and freeing beyond anything you could have imagined. Your joy and appreciation for life return in profound ways, you rise again like the Phoenix from the ashes. I love you. In deep gratitude, RJ

I would love to show my support by sharing my journey with you; in my intimate memoir, Hugging Trees in the Dark… Finding the Courage to Free the Heart — Now on Amazon.


Hugging Trees in the Dark — Finding the Courage to Heal the Heart

Robin Jillian

Written by

Robin Jillian will be releasing her deeply intimate and spiritually charged memoir “Hugging Trees in the Dark” in 2018.


Hugging Trees in the Dark — Finding the Courage to Heal the Heart

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade