Humans vs. Robots

How Humans Can Win Out In The Face Of A Robot Apocalypse

Jon Malapit
Robot Survival Guide
4 min readMay 19, 2017

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What do iRobot, Terminator, Avengers: Age of Ultron, and Ex Machina have in common? Humans underestimating the power and intelligence of robots, which inadvertently result in robots taking over the world.

Kind of like having your child go through their teenage-angst “I hate you” stage, humanity, in these movies, have super intelligent robots going through this same phase… except they want to kill humans. Don’t believe me?

Granted, robots aren’t exactly considered intelligent yet…

but they’re getting there. We already have cars that can switch lanes and park on their own. We already have robots powered by A.I. who can hold conversations. In fact, Microsoft developed it’s own A.I. chatbot and connected it to a Twitter account. This project sort of backfired, and the chatbot became racist in under 24 hours. According to DailyMail, 38% of U.S. jobs will be taken by robots by 2030.

The point is that the technology is advancing quickly, and although that’s completely out of your control, it isn’t the end of the world. Fret not because there’s 4 easy ways you can beat the robots!

How to Beat The Robots

1. Learn how to program.

Robots need to be programmed in order to do the specific job they’re tasked to do. It can already be seen that robots are replacing or have already replaced people who do fairly simple or routine jobs (manufacturing, cashier positions, etc.). Although those jobs seem simple, those robots need the software to perform them. That’s where you’ll come in. Learn to program and you’ll learn to create the robot’s brain.

Up until the technological singularity, you’ll be just fine! Even as robots start to take over even more complicated jobs, there will be a need for even more skilled programmers to build up the software infrastructure for those robots. More complex protocols means more complex code and the more difficult the job, the more you get paid as a programmer! Plus, if you get good enough at programming, you’ll be able to program a kill switch on the robots (just for safety measures).

2. Build a Trojan-Horse-Virus-On-Steroids.

One of the best ways to stop a crash a computer would be to launch out a well developed, complex, and effective computer virus. In case your super-intelligent blender tries to blend your leg someday in the future, this virus could very well save your life.

3. Build a homemade EMP.

More of a hardware person? Then just build your own personal EMP (electromagnetic pulse)! An EMP shuts off and potentially could completely destroy any electronic device. Here’s a link to creating a simple version of EMP that can shut off less harmful electronics like cell phones, but theoretically, you could scale the schematics and make a much, much stronger version of this EMP. Pro tip: Make at least two. One to take around with you, and one to keep in the basement of your house.

4. Build a giant magnet.

This one’s for the non-technical people. If you can build a giant magnet large enough, you’ll be able to stop anybody robot from coming near your home. A giant magnet would disrupt their hard drives and your home would be the equivalent to a nuclear radiation zone to robots. Disclaimer: People with braces or a metal plate in their head would probably choose one of the other three options.

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