SONG STORY

The Kiss Of Venus: The Forbidden Zone

To accidentally go where no one has gone before

Image by Maks from Pixabay

“We’ve jumped 108.3189672134 light-years from Earth.” Mr Kight’s sharp Viskon face remained impassive as he gave the bad news.

Captain Maxwell S. Hammer thought he could sense the faint flicker of concern in one corner of his tight mouth. It had to be wind. Like all from his planet, he was incapable of emotions, so it must be those Viskon ks’pai’ting beans he eats.

[This is the 3rd instalment of The Kiss Of Venus — Part 1 can be found here and Part 2 here. The story contains several Beatles and solo Beatles references. See how many you can find.]

“Yes, you’ve told us already how far away we are,” he sighed. “Just tell us where we are. The Neutral Zone? The Gamma Quadrant? The Andromeda Galaxy?”

Kight raised his eyebrow. “Captain, I must point out that the Andromeda Galaxy is 2.5 million light-years away, not 108. 31…”

“Kight,” the captain shouted, interrupting him. “Just tell me where the hell we are before I put you in the Glass Onion Tube and bolt the hatch.”

The Viskon’s eyebrow raised. “That would be illogical, Captain, but by my best calculations, which have a 99.876% probability of accuracy despite…