Tom: How is pondering the future like sexual attraction?

This is the first post in a public dialogue between Tom Klinkowstein and Mathias Jakobsen. Read more here.

Mathias: At first I would say that it isn’t. But that’s not an interesting answer. So let me explore this.

For me sexual attraction has two components. There is the visual stimulation of seeing something and instantly feeling a sexual desire. A beautiful woman walking down the street. A pair of incredible legs. I’m very attracted to legs. This part seems conditioned and rather automatic. But then the next part involves the active use of imagination. How can I precisely imagine myself in some intimate situation with her? And this is where it is similar to pondering the future: it is required to be quite specific in order to be interesting. What exactly will it look like? Feel like? How will it feel to touch? What sounds will I hear? It takes actual mental work to focus on the fantasy of the future in rich detail and long enough to begin to really feel it. Experience it.

There can also be something a little bit forbidden about it which can be similar to sexual attraction. Especially when pondering my own future on a more personal level. What I’m dreaming of. How I would like to see my own future.

I think it can be arousing on some level. Indulgent. Spending time on fantasy of any kind. But I’m still much more comfortable sharing my future fantasies than I am sharing my sexual fantasies, and after this exploration I am left feeling that this is still a rather theoretical exercise.

Now, my question back to you is: In your life what do you regret the most and why?

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