5 pieces of advice for young entrepreneurs on this Valentine’s Day
Listen, I don’t know about love and romance in your 30s or 40s. I can’t know. I am still young and awesome. But I know in your 20s, you need to set a good foundation. Admittedly, I still have a ton to learn and understand. But I have finally realized the importance of love, and the importance of priority and order. I will share with you my findings, in list-form, because lists keep me sane. Lists have always been there for me. Lists are the best. There are five key rules when it comes to finding love in your tenacious twenties:
1. Love Yourself First
It was only when I put in the effort to love and care for myself that I could even begin to understand how to love somebody else. It was a long time before I realized my worth. It required some undoing of my adolescent understandings. It took frustration and patience and time and meditation. I had to scrutinize everything I hated about myself; looking it in the face, challenging it. But when I started putting as much effort into bettering myself as I did in bettering my career, it became possible. And when I upgraded the energy I put out into the world, the quality of people I met seemed to improve substantially.
2. Prioritize Your Work
Stop with the eye roll before you’ve even finished reading. Remember the context of this article. I’m not advising that you maintain your workaholic ways and value work above all else, forever. I’m advising, if you’re in your early twenties, to figure yourself out before committing someone else to your own unique brand of crazy. This goes hand-in-hand with loving and understanding yourself. Also, if your work suffers because of a relationship, you will, without one single doubt, end up resenting them. Stop wasting everyone’s time. (And time, my friends, is money. Now you may roll your eyes.)
3. Keep the Pressure Off
You experience too much pressure at work to put any more of it on your plate. For now, keep things simple. Focus on potential partners who share similar motivations. They do not need to be entrepreneurs, but they do need to understand and value the importance of a solid work ethic. You need to be vocal here, and honest with what you want from the jump. It shouldn’t be a requirement to speak or even text every day, just because technology makes it possible to do so. Leave one another something to look forward to. Set up a weekly date; seeing each other once a week is a good way to maintain balance, while also allowing the cultivation of a new relationship. Mark your dates in your calendar — give yourself something to look forward to, and something to help keep your movements efficient and clear.
4. Challenge, and Be Challenged.
If you’re looking for love, make sure it’s symbiotic. Benefit each other productively. A strong, confident, level-headed person will challenge you, pushing you to think outside your normal parameters. For someone whose work is their first relationship, these qualities will likely ensure that your romantic partner understands and supports your priorities, but more importantly is constructively beneficial to your personal growth. Challenge each other to become better versions of yourselves. And, a bonus: if you’re both consistently supporting the other’s growth, chances are, you’ll never get bored.
5. Stop Rushing
Why do we have to be on such a tight schedule? It’s archaic. We’re not traditionally marrying and reproducing all under the ripe age of 25 anymore. We’ve prioritized learning and exceeding and adventures and travel. We need to stop bringing with us old ideals, especially since they clash so heavily with our new ones. Have patience with yourself, have patience with your surroundings, and have patience in the process. Stay focused, stay present, and enjoy the ride. Rushing into relationships is excruciatingly outdated — familiarize yourself with current divorce rate statistics and enjoy your fucking life, man. Malcolm Gladwell said it takes 10,000 hours to reach mastery. That’s approximately 10 years. Give it time!
Each of these five ‘rules’ found me through different experiences and people I have encountered along my tiny path. The most important thing to remember, overall, is that love will come. It is so striking when it makes sense, and when the timing is right, and when you’re each ready for the other. Everything else is improvement and preparation. It is in your best interest to enjoy every stage.
