If Love Was A Person I’ll Tell Him These
Ah, finally we meet.
You and I.
It seems we’ve been chasing each other endlessly for years. I thought I’ve met you early in my life but I was wrong. I assumed that you were going to stay but you left. Or I shooed you away. Whatever the reason was, I thought have gone and never to return.
We first met when I was studying at university. I recognized you! You were good, you wanted the best for me and it was inevitable for us to end up together. But still, we went our separate ways. I chose to tread my own path to independence. I was a brat trying to prove myself to the world…and to myself.
The path was bright and full of lessons. There’s no inch of regret for choosing it.
Years went by. They were trails of adventures, new memories made, having fun, photographs in mountains and under the oceans, dating, travel, job promotions, changing homes, trying to make the world a better place, meditating, therapy, and many other ways to pursue my happiness.
In those years, I thought I met you again and again through the faces of the men who came into my life. The words ‘it didn’t work out’ and ‘i think this is it’ became words that I spoke too often.
The path became dull, hopeless and void of happiness that I was pursuing.
Last year, we crossed roads again. I met you, for real. You were wrapped in an angelic face, a strong build, a person that now calls me his own.
Am I lucky? Maybe. Did I do something right along the way? I’m not sure. Did you come back to give me a fairytale lesson that things work out at the end? That happily ever exists? Only time will tell.
Maybe you will leave again. Maybe I am being taught something new again. I will know when you decide to leave if you ever.
For now, you are here. For every day that I hear your voice, those days when I was chasing you for the wrong reasons are being replaced, one by one. Just like the change of season in a year…winter has turned into spring. The colors are vivid and the air is fresh.
After 15 years of searching, finding and losing you, I meet you again. And I hope this time, you are here to stay.