Missing orgasms during intercourse? You’re not alone. It’s why millions of women have been faking orgasm since living with cavemen.
By Susan Jane Terry
O. The Big “O”. Orgasm. Climax. Ne plus ultra.
If it’s missing from your sex life, maybe it’s time to go solo for a night to change things up.
Whether you’re single or committed, sometimes you just can’t reach orgasm during sex. Don’t feel bad. Although it’s a well-kept secret, it’s virtually impossible for women to climax that way. According to Planned Parenthood statistics, 80 percent of women don’t experience orgasm from vaginal intercourse.
You have plenty of company; women miss climaxes more often than buses, wondering why they weren’t invited to Cinderella’s ball. If you’ve been left out of the sexual revolution, maybe it’s time you take equal ownership of your sexuality.
So, Cinderella, if your invitation to ecstasy is missing in the mail or if you’ve never had the big “O,” you need a strategy, one so easy that any woman with an electrical outlet can use. Want to bring the magic? Try a little technology and some self-love with these seven easy steps:
1) Shop your neighborhood drug or discount store to find an array of massagers. No, this isn’t a cheesy sex-toy (we’ll get to that later). This isn’t a “vibrator” sold at sex shops. This is a massager. It massages your clitoris to climax. That’s where all the action is, despite the 10,000 porno movies you had to watch. My favorite, Conair’s Body Benefits Heated Body-Flex Massager is priced less than $30. Easy to use, it’s flexible with a powerful vibrating action and long handle. Look for it in the health and beauty section of your favorite drug store. You can still use your massager to soothe tired shoulders but once you learn how to use it to bring yourself to orgasm, you won’t have any stress left to soothe.
2) Buy a few sex-toys online or at lingerie shops. What are your fantasies? You can satisfy any of them. Have fun. Don’t be shy. This is your personal, private party.
3) Choose the moment. Naturally, you’ll need privacy but you also need to be in the mood. Women’s cycles are often attuned with nature, making them feel amorous around the full moon. You know your body and when you’re ready for personal sexual healing. It’s your moment.
4) Think sexy. Be sexy. Put clean, scented linens on your bed. Draw yourself a hot, steamy bath. Light candles. Put on music that makes you feel sexy and confident. Sip champagne. Dream and enjoy.
5) Treat yourself like the princess you are. What delights you? Tactile ladies slip into silky garments and sexy lingerie. Some of us kick up our heels in our Jimmy Choo’s. Put on your tiara and highest push-up bra. If you’re visual, look online for a video. Not your style? Grab a steamy novel. Plug in your massager. Arrange your toys.
6) Imaginary lovers never disappoint. Fantasize about your imaginary lover, see your lover sharing your wildest dreams. Stimulate your breasts and nipples. Insert your finger deep inside your vagina and over your clitoris. Imagine your deepest fantasies, no matter how kinky. You and your imaginary lover are the only two at this private party. What happens here, stays here.
7) Ready for blast-off! Place the massager slightly to the side of your clitoris, finding your sweet spot and the right pressure. Increase the pressure for several minutes as you feel swelling start to rise. This may take time, so enjoy the sensations building up to orgasm. When you’re ready to come, press the massager harder onto the clitoris until you climax. If you’re not-quite-there, take a break until you feel your body crave attention again. Now that you know what to do with the massager, you can get back to business when the feeling gets intense and you are ready to explode into orgasm.
Bing-bang-BOOOM! Ooh, yeah.