A tree

The Master told us about his formation in the Shaolin Temple to explain us the exercises he asked us to do. For instance, sometimes he told us to face in pair, one to one, and to kick each other arms. At the beginning, you go slowly, because it hurts. Your arms become red, then blue, and if you keep doing it, sometimes you can almost feel your bone near breaking. And the Master come and see your arms and congratulates those whose arms were the more injured. He often congratulated me. And soon, fewer people accepted to train with me…

I could see in their eyes « what the fuck???she’s a girl !!!…she can’t go so far…she must be mad. ». And I was, in a sense. Today I understand their perspective. At that time, I just thought it was me against the rest of the world, even the Master recognized at least my strong will, but was still surprised by « me » and my apparent capacity to overdo the limits « of a female body ».

He explained us that at the Temple, very early in the formation, every male child had to choose a tree in the forest nearby. And after having apologized to the tree, they began practising on it. The first who succeeded in making the tree fall, after several years, was perceived as « great ».

I listened to that story. But I couldn’t link it to my experience of that exercise, as most of the time I was absolutely not « sorry » to whoever I could kick. I just wanted to practise and practise again. To improve. Even the pain was somehow pleasant. I could feel my body strengthening from inside and outside. The « violence » was just energy that I chose to drive from my arm to someone else who was supposed to have chosen it too.

There has always been some tree near me, I can remember some with which I spoke from far. But I never approached them.

Kung-Fu is often perceived as superior to Gi-Qong. This perspective is false. Gi-Qong is largely superior to Kung-Fu. You can reach a « Gi-Qong » level only if you understand the link between the tree and the violence as an energy. At least, that’s what I feel today.

Humans use violence, theorize, praise or despise it as if it was a human characteristic on moral grounds.

I knew from far that I would have to speak from nearer to trees. This morning I just went to touch a tree, the one in the garden of my landlord’s house. Not for more than ten seconds.

I was said more than once that I just need to write my story to make a novel. And it is not false. I went through enough experiences of this decadent society to use, theorize, praise and despise violence in such a way that I too would be used, theorized, praised and despised as if I was nothing more than a human characteristic on moral grounds.

Had I done so, I don’t think I would have touched any tree any time, at least not the way I touched it this morning.