Blog 6

Original:

Now, however, my perspective has changed greatly, which is ironic because I seem to have less time to put in the work necessary. I have become what I disliked and laughed at when I was younger and did not know as much. But similar to Homer from The Simpsons, I had an epiphany. Doing all that extra work is actually fun for me. I am on the meal plan at the University I attend, the company the dining hall gets their food from has their food pre downloaded into a nutrition tracking app so why not try it? This lead to a big question for me. Do health apps, and wearable fitness trackers actually work? Is what I am doing, taking the effort to plan my meals and make sure I do not go over my calorie goals for the day, helping me reach my goal weight? For me personally, I think it is. I have lost some weight, but is that just because of me and my approach to health and fitness?

Revised:

Now, however, my perspective has changed greatly. Since, I have become what I disliked and laughed at when I was younger and did not know as much. Similar to Homer from The Simpsons, I had an epiphany. I actually think it is fun putting all the work in. This is ironic because I seem to have less time to put in the work necessary. I am on the meal plan at the University I attend, and the company the dining hall gets their food from has their food pre downloaded into a nutrition tracking app. As a result of this realization, I thought to myself, why not try it? After a few weeks of doing it, logging my food and activity became second nature and I did it without question. Naturally, there are some days where I do not want to because I see how much I want to eat verse what I can eat. Nonetheless, perseverance has gotten me through. This lead to a big question for me. Do health apps, and wearable fitness trackers actually work? Is what I am doing, taking the effort to plan my meals and make sure I do not go over my calorie and macro goals for the day, help me reach my goal weight? For me personally, I think it does. I have lost some weight, and I continue to do so while tracking everything. But is that just because of me and my approach to health and fitness, or is it because the app and others like it are designed to draw users in?

Reflection:

When revising my paragraph, I focused on adding more transitions that would help my paper sound and feel smoother when it was read. Not that my sentences were choppy, they could just use a bit of improvement. I also tried to make the beginning of one sentence expand on where the previous one ended to also give my paper better flow. Lastly, I added and moved around pointer words. I moved pointer words to where I felt they would serve a better purpose without being repetitive, and I added them where I thought I needed more help showing how one point was related to the next.