Blog Post #6 Nick Melfi
ORIGINAL PARAGRAPH:
Throughout the past two decades, technology has become an integral part of many aspects of human life. Whether it be keeping in touch with friends and family throughout the day or the devices that doctors now rely upon to save the lives of their patients, technology is visible no matter where you look, and it is vital to most of the things that we do in the world today. Ever since technology was introduced to us as an easily attainable resource, it has been adopted into many different parts of our lives and plays an integral role in almost all sectors of American life. Technology provides people with the ability to easily contain sensitive information, control and monitor things remotely, access nearly unlimited resources within seconds, keep in touch with those close to us, acts as a source of entertainment and eliminates human error among other things. In this day and age, America as a whole is run on technology and if that is taken away the country would not be able to operate to its fullest potential. Everything from driving your car to and from work every day, turning on the lights in your house and keeping food refrigerated to the stock market, banks, and the government is all operated using some sort of technology. People rely on technology to survive and use nearly every second of their lives, but there is one place where the use of this resource is lacking.
REVISED PARAGRAPH:
Throughout the course of history, humans have always strived to create new inventions to improve how we do things. Some major advancements were the lightbulb and the automobile. In this day and age, all of the new innovations are centered around technology and the use of the technology in society. Everywhere that one may look, there is technology all around them and it has established itself as a necessity for the way we live life. Technology plays an integral role in nearly everything that we do and is essential for the world to operate the way that it does. Computers allow us access to information that the human brain cannot, the internet allows us to store secure information in the cloud and keep it organized and easily accessible, and there are many other advancements being created every day. Technology provides us the opportunity to access new information, keep in touch with those close to us and provide entertainment among many other things. If technology plays this crucial of a role in the world that we live in today, why have we not seen the adaptation of these resources into schools across the country until a recent small push within the last 5 years? With all of the advantages and resources that it provides to help people develop and learn new things, technology should be commonplace in school districts across the country.
REFLECTION:
In this chapter, Harris talks about revising a paper and how to improve your paper overall. He talks about how you should refine your paper and make changes and not just fix punctuation and grammar and spelling mistakes. He explains how you should rethink and try and say what you want your paper to really be about by asking ourselves a set of questions. I took the strategy of rewording what I said in my original paragraph and formatting it differently and changing sentences to make my point of the paper stronger and really set the tone of my paper. I wanted the readers to know how important technology was to society and the world we live in to get the point across of how technology should be adapted into education and rewrote parts of the paper using the same ideas but saying them in a different way to strengthen it. Overall, I feel that the new paragraph is a lot more improved and really gets what I want to across easier and stronger.
