Rough Draft

Social media has become the most popular electronic entertainment in this day in age since it was released. According to Merriam Webster dictionary the definition of social media is “forms of electronic communication (such as websites for social networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (such as videos).”(Merriamwebster.com) This definition has truth to it, however social media has grown to become much more than that. While riding the bus home one day from my 8 am Seminar in Composition class my surroundings suddenly stopped. I weirdly intrigued by this almost stoppage in time and it almost felt like I was in slow motion. As I looked around at all the other passengers I realized something, I was the only person that was not immersed into a cell phone. This revelation fascinated me to the point that I decided to research this situation into more depth. Figuring out the most significant effects of the usage of social media later turned into the goal of this research. Social media has been around since the late 1990s a has been evolving year after year becoming an everlasting source of communication among the world’s population. Some users of social media may argue that there are a plethora of positive effects that influence the consumers. Although this is true in some aspects, the research provided in throughout this work shows that there are far more negative contributions to social media users. Many mental health issues have risen from an overuse of social media by its users. These include issues include low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and many more very difficult concerns that have affected users. The outcomes resulting from social media have emerged to become pessimistic among the users. While certain people find social media as a means of positive communication, more and more situations have emerged to where mental issues have become apparent in users.

Revised Draft

Social media has become the most popular electronic entertainment in its generation since it was released. The integration of communication on the internet among its users, that includes sharing, viewing, and blogging is known as social media. This definition has truth to it, however social media has grown to become much more than just an entertainment application or website. While riding the bus home one day from my 8 am Seminar in Composition class my surroundings suddenly stopped. I weirdly intrigued by this almost stoppage in time and it almost felt like I was in slow motion. As I looked around at all the other passengers I realized something, I was the only person that was not immersed into a cell phone. This revelation fascinated me to the point that I decided to research this situation into more depth. Figuring out the most significant effects of the usage of social media later turned into the goal of this research. Social media has been around since the late 1990s a has been evolving year after year becoming an everlasting source of communication among the world’s population. Some users of social media may argue that there are a plethora of positive effects that influence the consumers. Although this is true in some aspects, the research provided in throughout this work shows that there are far more negative contributions to social media users. Many mental health issues have risen from an overuse of social media by its users. These include issues include low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and many more very difficult concerns that have affected users. The outcomes resulting from social media have emerged to become pessimistic among the users. While certain people find social media as a means of positive communication, more and more situations have emerged to where mental issues have become apparent in users.

This week I was able to reread my rough draft of the research paper. I was able to revise and edit any areas of concern that were negatively impacting my paper. This was a overall great process and made me realize on what I had to improve on. Towards the beginning of the paragraph I implemented a definition of social media from merriam webster. This is considered to be an ineffective way to influence the audience and a definition from myself would definitely be more efficient. I also had to work on clarifying certain aspects of the paragraph. Leaving a sentence about a full explanation of what I was intending will harm my grade which is exactly what I do not want. Overall I needed to pay more attention to detail within my writing and try to hook the audience in a more authentic way. I intend on using these writing strategies to positively influence my future writing skills. This was a very helpful experience.