Random Ramblings — Part One
Embracing Insanity
Welcome to the ramblings of my ‘squirrel brain’. I wish there was some way that I could manage to control at least the speed at which the thoughts swirl around in my head. Managing to actually process those thoughts would be an added bonus. The older I get, the harder it all becomes. It seems there’s always more being thrown into the mix and I just can’t keep up anymore.
I used to try to present some semblance of normalcy to the outside world. Most folks actually seem to believe that I’ve got it ‘all together’. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m sitting here today thinking that there really is no such thing as ‘normal’. What the hell is that even supposed to look like? This pandemic certainly seems to have revealed that everybody has at least a little bit of ‘crazy’ floating through their brains. It’s also served to push my once relatively level head over the edge and I’m not even sure anymore if I’m just clinging to sanity or if I’ve dived headlong into embracing my insanity.
I know one thing for sure… I’m beyond fed up with people needing to label themselves and everybody else, then loudly defending their ‘human rights’ above anybody else’s. It’s like those labels we put on bins and boxes when organizing our material things. The usefulness of the items inside determine whether they are top shelf, bottom shelf or perhaps something we need to shamefully hide in the back of our proverbial closets. I know that some of my statements are likely to spark some lively debate, probably even anger. My intentions though, are quite the opposite.
WHY do people need to fit inside those boxes, with their neat labels and if you are incredibly lucky, tied with a pretty bow? If you’re one of the lucky ones, in America at least, you were born into a white, privileged family of intelligent, educated parentage, with no ugly secrets hidden away within the family tree. I’m pretty certain that doesn’t actually exist. Humanity is diverse, there’s a darkness in our nature. No matter how hard we try to cover it up. Dig deep… somewhere you will find that shameful darkness.
I’m painfully aware of the cruelty that exists in the world. The fact that people have been killed for their differences is common knowledge. Has angry, hateful retaliation ever fixed anything? What would happen if we all just stopped responding in anger to the hate? What would happen if we just calmly encouraged one another to embrace what makes us different. What if we just accepted that we don’t all have to have the same skin color, beliefs, sexual orientation or level of brain function? What if we stopped expecting modern cultures to pay retribution for the actions of their ancestors? What if only those people who are actually responsible for a hateful act were held accountable?
I know it’s a pipe dream, but it’s diversity that makes beauty in the world around us. It certainly wouldn’t be as beautiful with only one kind of flower. Food would be pretty boring if we only had one thing to eat. Our world wouldn’t be the same if everything were black and white, so why can’t we just accept human diversity as a beautiful thing and allow people to be their true and genuine selves, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone?
I know that in my personal experiences, with my own ‘disabilities’ and a family full of ‘differently abled’ individuals, our biggest problems come from trying to ‘fit in’. I get most anxious about not living up to the expectations of others, not being seen as at least somewhat ‘normal’. I know my granddaughter, who has FASD, ADHD and PTSD, only struggles because she’s not like every other thirteen year old girl and she desperately wants to be. When she has to try to be like everybody else, she gets frustrated and her brain misfires. Then she really CAN’T function and behaviors spiral out of control. Both of us are capable of accomplishing so much more if we aren’t under the pressure of expectations.
It was certainly easier with dial up internet. Back in the days when there was no such thing as social media you had to wait for the 6:00 o’clock news to come on to find out what was going on in the world. The news was presented as fact and not overshadowed by ‘popular opinion’. Heated debates over current events had to be held face to face over strong cups of coffee. It’s harder to be openly vocal when you are looking your opponent in the eye and actually get to see the disgust on their face when you start to spew unfounded crap. People tended to watch their words a little closer when they actually got to witness the harm they could cause.
This so-called ‘Information Age’ is a double-edged sword. It’s great to be able to find the answer to any question that comes out of your child’s mouth in an instant. Yes, we HAVE googled ‘Is eating boogers healthy?’ Being able to jump onto my computer and attend college and university courses from the comfort of my isolated country home on my own schedule is a huge bonus. Being constantly bombarded with public opinion… makes my brain and my heart hurt. Knowing now that, behind closed doors, when I thought she was in online classes, my mentally disabled, pre-teen granddaughter had well over 2000 men privately sexting her and convincing her to engage in naked video chats is horrifying. What’s even worse is that her device location was turned on. It’s even more frightening, considering her disability doesn’t allow her to see the harm. Yes, it’s been reported and there’s an investigation ongoing and there has been for over a year. Those 2000 men are still out there. Playing Roblox and other online children’s games, convincing kids to open secret Instagram and Snapchat accounts, because that’s just how slowly the wheels of justice turn. Those are the kinds of people that should have their ‘moment in the spotlight’… in the middle of a town square, with thousands of people present to hold them accountable and pay them their dues for causing harm to children.
Why does there even have to be a vaccine debate or Pride movement, ‘anti-maskers’ and ‘sheeple’, and wars over religion and politics? Why are your rights, lifestyle, and beliefs any more or less valid and important than mine? Why can’t we just be our true selves as long as we do no harm? It’s all just one big distraction that keeps us from living a peaceful, joyful life.
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