Autistic, Authentic, and Fashionable AF: My 30s Style Revolution
You know I’ve always been a bit of an odd duck. As a teenager, I flitted from goth to punk to indie faster than you can say “eyeliner.” I stomped around in Vans and Converse, determined to look as cool and disaffected as possible.
Emily the Strange was like my spirit sister, and manga was my escape. Little did I know that these seemingly rebellious choices were actually the first steps towards finding my true self.
Being autistic, I’ve always experienced the world a bit differently.
Fashion and style became a way for me to express myself when words sometimes failed me. But then, life happened. You know how it goes...
People start telling you to “grow up,” to “dress your age,” to “fit in.” And for a while, I listened.
I tried to conform, to be “normal.”
I pushed aside my love for anime and manga, thinking it was childish. I wore what I thought I should wear, not what I wanted to wear. It was like putting on a costume every day, and let me tell you, it was exhausting.
And let’s be clear — I don’t want to look like a lettuce.
You know the type — all wilted and trying to blend in, afraid to stand out. That’s not me, and it never has been, even when I was trying to fit in.
Fast forward to now, in my mid-30s, and guess what? I’ve rediscovered my style mojo, and it feels bloody fantastic. I’ve realised that there’s no expiration date on self-expression, especially for us neurospicy women.
Who says we can’t mix ultra-feminine with a dash of grunge?
Who made the rule that women over 30 can’t wear smokey eyes or black eyeliner? Not me, that’s for sure.
I’ve learnt to embrace my quirks. My forehead might not always be relaxed, and my “elevens” might be making an appearance, but you know what? That’s okay.
It’s a sign of a life well-lived, of laughter and experiences. And if anyone has a problem with it, well, they can jog on.
Now, let’s talk about my style for a moment.
I’m not about glam or over-the-top looks. My style is a simple blend of feminine and grunge. Think flowy dresses paired with biker boots or delicate DKNY blouses with dark denim. It’s a style that says, “Yes, I’m feminine, but I’ve also got an edge.”
And you know what? I love it.
I’m drawn to women who’ve lived life on their own terms, who’ve bent the rules of style and authenticity. Women like Pamela des Barres, Dita Von Teese, Helena Bonham Carter, and the amazing Claudia Winkleman. These women teach us that style isn’t about following trends or dressing “appropriately” for your age.
It’s about expressing who you are, inside and out.
And you know what? I’ve realised that I’m still that 15-year-old girl who hung around skate parks, and loved manga and anime.
She never really went away; she was just hiding for a while.
Now, she’s back, and she’s brought with her a newfound confidence and self-acceptance.
But I’ve also learnt that it’s okay to be a bit of a loner and enjoy time on my own to recharge my batteries.
And yet, I don’t feel alone because I cherish the handful of friends I have — the ones who would catch me if I fell. Some are on the spectrum like me, others are neurotypical, but they all accept me for who I am, just as I accept them.
So, here I am, in my 30s, wearing my beloved Vans or biker boots (you’ll have to bury me in them, I swear). I’m not trying to look like anyone else or fit into some predetermined mould of what a woman in her 30s should look like.
I’m just being me — autistic, authentic, and a bit strange.
My makeup routine is simple but impactful. I love a good smokey eye and black eyeliner. I want to look like I’m wearing makeup, but without the panda eyes or caked-on foundation, thank you very much.
It’s my way of putting on my “game face” for the world, a bit of armour that helps me feel confident and ready to take on whatever the day throws at me. I’ve realised that beauty and fashion aren’t about hiding who you are or trying to fit in. They’re about celebrating what makes you you, your quirks, your autistic self.
It’s about finding what makes you feel comfortable and confident, and owning it.
For me, that means embracing my love for anime and manga, even in my 30s. It means wearing what feels right, whether that’s a flowy wrap dress or bootcut Salsa jeans.
It means not being afraid to show my personality through my style choices.
I want to encourage you, especially my fellow autistic women, to embrace your authentic selves. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too old for something you love, or that you need to dress a certain way because of your age or body type.
Your style is an extension of who you are, and who you are is beautiful.
Remember, fashion rules are made to be broken. Age is really just a number. And being autistic? Well, that’s our superpower.
It gives us a unique perspective on the world, and that includes how we express ourselves through fashion and beauty.
So, my loves, here’s to being autistic, authentic, and a bit strange in our 30s and beyond. Here’s to mixing feminine with grunge, to wearing makeup that makes us feel powerful, to never giving up our beloved Vans or biker boots.
Here’s to being unapologetically ourselves.
Because at the end of the day, that’s what true style is all about — being comfortable in your own skin, neurospicyness and all.
And let me tell you, it feels pretty amazing.
So, be bold, be you, and never apologise for it. After all, life’s too short to look like a lettuce, wear boring clothes or to try to be someone you’re not. Embrace your weird & wonderful, authentic self, and watch how the world lights up around you.
Because you, just as you are, are absolutely perfect.
Until next time,
/ Emi x
