The reason your friends aren’t breaking their neck to hear your newest track is…
You’re accessible. They see you as ordinary everyday people.
For all my fellow artists. Notice that friends will go out and spend $200 dollars on Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Cold Play, Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift tickets.
But won’t even ask you or show up to your show that’s $5 or $10.
Even if they’ve known you their whole life, they think you aren’t a “serious” artist.
You know the excitement you feel when you been in the studio, recording a song for hours, and then you FINALLY have a finished product. You inbox your friend about it on Facebook.
1 week later you ask them: have you listened to it? They give you this face of “No I really didn’t but I don’t want to hurt your feelings so I’ll give you that “yes” look.
2 weeks later you ask again. They still haven’t listened to it.
At this point, they will never listen to it.
You approach another friend. You tell them in person, and the exact same reaction. They give you a fake smile pretending they care, but somewhere you can feel they don’t give a f*ck.
You’ve spent your valuable time painting this art, and yet even your own friends won’t stand by your side?
Why Most of Your Friends Don’t Support Your Music
1.More in likely, They Don’t Like Your music, And Just Don’t Want To Tell You
I stopped inboxing and telling most of my friends about my music and my band.
If they are not interested or not apart of the fan base, me trying to force my music on them is not going to do any good.
Unfortunately, most of them only support you when you make it. Or even worst, doubt you, then act like they supported you when you get it.
Do I hate them? Of course not. It might not be their cup of tea.
I’m just explaining one of the brutal truths.
2. The fact of the matter is, most people in life do things half-heartedly.
I recently read a wise email. #2 is basically the details from that email. Basically the email said and it mentioned this:
The artists are “good starters, but bad finishers”.
GUESS WHAT. I got accused of not following through on ideas even!
People make new years resolutions, and by February, they already quit.
People sign up for gym memberships, and never use them.
People say they’re going to quit smoking, and two weeks later you see them puffing more trees than a forest fire.
People SAY alot of things… But they don’t DO alot of things.
And somewhere deep down inside, other people NOTICE this and KNOW when people ain’t really living up to their own standards.
They can FEEL it coming off of you.
So, your friends aren’t supporting your music because they FEEL like you’re the exact same as anyone else.
3. They Don’t See You As “Beyonce” Successful Or Successful, Period.
You hate being compared to or stacked up against other artists (so do I) but you will hear people say “you sing like……”
4. You Might Be Putting In Work, But They Don’t See It
Let me tell you a story.
I’m thinking I’ll be a little bit more selective in who I work with musically moving forward. I’m not becoming a meanie, but I personally felt like the musicians I ran into in school circles brushed me off. If I never approached them and just kept hustling (which is what I was doing in the first place), more in likely they would have approached me.
After that, I decided to find my squads and work it.
I have found that people have a tendency to take you more seriously when you put in the work. If you put in the work, instead of urgently looking for people, they look for you.
This rapper was a teacher at my high school. I noticed when I asked to collaboration with him, he got really sheepish. BUT he did reach out to ask other members of my 2008 class to hop on his music.
The same thing happened to me at a place I don’t want to mention.
I asked him if he wanted to perform together to see how it would go. He quickly said abrupt no (and I asked because he mentioned we should do something together months prior).
I like his music, and he’s a pretty successful artist in the Indianapolis area. But if he asked to collaborate with me in the future, I don’t think I would. And I did like a track from the other artist from my high school as well.
If you find that your running into artists that give you “I don’t want to be bothered with you vibe” do them and yourselves a favor and leave them alone. And get back to work lol.
How To Approach This?
A. Understand That Friends May Or May Not Support You
If you have friends and fam that’s on your bandwagon when there’s one person in the crowd (or no one in the audience like the picture above), GREAT. Keep these friends. If you wanted to become a professional crayon maker, they would make sure they root for you to be the best professional crayon maker you can be.
On the other hand, don’t get mad if they are not this way and don’t give a damn about your music. Find a group of people that like your music. Embrace them and invite them to your performances instead. Don’t make anyone come around when they don’t want to.
Fellow artists. Guess how many friends showed up to my performances? 0. Zero.
#2. Build A Crew And Network Of People Who’s Mission Align With Yours. Find A Tribe.
When you start to take it to the next level, and you will more in likely begin to see your friends actually believe in you for the first time. Then the same people who you couldn’t get to listen to your music will start to tell everyone they know you. Guaranteed. When they see you are taking it seriously, and making strides, they will come around (even if they don’t like your genre of music). By following through, it will show that you are not like everyone else who doesn’t make their dreams come true.
Even though I just started my band, a fellow artist told me “SO I see that you are performing with a band.” But I haven’t seen this artist in months. So how would they know?
When you put the work in, people start to take notice.
You would think that the people that know you, regardless if they understand what you are doing or not, would have your back. In the perfect world, this would be the case.
But we are not in the perfect world.
#3. Work Work Work Work Work Work.
Writing song lyrics daily for an hour? Try to write more song lyrics. Performing? Perform more. Learning about the business side of music? Definitely do more.
Hello! I’m Alesha! I’m a musician, actress, entrepreneur and writer and recent hospital patient (I still can’t believe that is real). Follow on Twitter. If you like what I’m writing, give me a heart and share! :) I like hearts. Let me know what you want me to write! Click here!