A Letter to My Younger Self: What I Wish I Knew When I Was 13
Dear Younger Self,
13 can be a tough age. Having to deal with the awkward encounters brought from the despicable stages of adolescence (zits, braces, puberty, the endless list of possibilities that we convinced ourselves never happened and deny our overall existence within society), amongst these uneasy moments, there is also the pressures brought forth once you have entered the real world — yet, also an unnatural world, that is your expenditure into social media.
There will be a day that comes where you will find yourself trading your polka dotted Tamagotchi for the latest 4th generation iPod Touch (arguable once the greatest digital technology innovation to exist). Days spent at the park with your friends will turn into after school chat sessions on MSN messenger. It is said that 58% of smartphone users are not capable of going more than an hour without checking their devices. With that, face to face interactions will become a foreign concept, while online socialization reigns. And just like that, you will become an addict of digital technologies and exposed to the dangers posed by social media.
81% of students in Grades 7–12 visit social media sites daily. About 1 in 10 students spend five hours or more hours on these sites daily. 54% of people use their devices while lying in bed. And 39% of users are active while using the bathroom.
The reality of it all is that we are a living statistic, and that social media consumes our daily activities and influences the decisions we make. You will live by the words, “If I didn’t post it, did it really happen?” You will capture every aspect of your life from where you eat, travel, and shop to share with your social media friends and followers. Looking through the lens of a camera and at the screen of your phone is how we take in the world. For as long as we are concerned with letting the world see what we saw, we will never had experienced it for ourselves. The social media realm is a trap we cannot escape. We live in an economy of attention. We crave it and will seek to all means to get it. With this, we lose the authenticity of our experiences.
“We struggle with insecurity because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”.
We carefully refine our social media accounts to portray traditional characterizations of success. From dining at luxurious venues to buying designer fashions, we create an augmented reality and a “curated self.” As we scroll through our newsfeeds and are exposed to these fixed personas, we begin to compare our realities to others, leading to the rising levels of anxiety, stress, and addiction. When the stories pushed on our timelines are “look how great my life is,” it’s easy to fall in a continuous cycle of comparisons which can negatively influence someone mentally. But what we see on social media is not always the truth, as many of us project an idealized version of ourselves. We are chasing after the impossible. Instead of obsessing over creating the “perfect lifestyle,” we must take a step away from the false realities of social media to truly be able appreciate and enjoy what we already have achieved in life.
Whenever you decide to check your social media accounts, ask yourself why you want to, will you benefit from investing your time seeing what someone else is doing? Are there better things you could be doing with your life right now? The answer is YES! 10 years from now, no one is going to care that you got 100 likes on your Instagram picture, that you vacationed in the Bahamas, or that you bought yourself a new Gucci purse. It is time to wake up and face the reality that no one really cares and neither should you.
Social media can hurt your mental health. But it doesn’t have to. A note to my vulnerable 13-year-old self: As your safety is my number priority, my suggestion would be to stay off all social media entirely. But as tempting as this may be, I can’t force this as that seems nearly impossible and just a result for major case of F.O.M.O (fear of missing out). At the end of the day, my advice on how to successfully navigate the rapidly-changing online world while practicing “safe social” is by:
1) Accept and come to terms with yourself that social media can be negatively affecting your mental health. Note: By recognizing that there is a problem, you can plan for what’s the next step to take.
2) It’s okay to take a break from social media. Note: A snap streak should not define your relationships. Do not feel obligated to keep them as there are other ways outside of Snapchat that you can socialize with others.
3) Create a better online experience for yourself, you can control who you let in your life. Note: Do not feel obligated to follow someone if you simply do not want to see their name on your timeline.
4) Stay true to yourself. Remember, “to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” Don’t be afraid to post something you like with the fear that someone else won’t.
The social media world is a dangerous place. But you don’t go into war without a plan. Take some time to do these mental checks and you can avoid the dangers posed by social media. You have the power to be in control of your life. Spend your time telling your parents you love them. Tell your friends you appreciate them. Simply take a moment to see your life through your eyes and not through a computer screen. You will want to enjoy these moments in life because one day you will grow up and will no longer be 13.
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