Dear 11-year-old Dayna
(I’m not exactly sure when you got Facebook but I know you must be around 11 because there are photos from October 2007 of our12th birthday party. Unlike many people who seem to remember the exact moment they entered the informational sharing, data saving, Facebook machine, I cannot remember. I vaguely remember getting Facebook before almost all my friends.)
Hey Dayna, how’s it going? I know you just got Facebook and you’re really excited about it. You’re going to get Twitter during one of the yearbook club meetings soon too, and that’s going to be a totally awesome. I’m 21 now, I’ve lived through all your social media blunders and I’ve got to say, there are a lot of them! Your social media pages are soon going to be full of all your tiny and undeveloped thoughts; the small jokes you made once in class that you won’t be able to remember a year later and more.
Even though they don’t really matter, please continue to do what you’re doing, but please try and check your grammar. I know you still don’t know the difference between definitely and defiantly (some people my age still don’t know the difference either TBH) but just try. When you come to be my age, the scariest thing when looking back is the horrid spelling and grammar.
Thinking about my early years on Facebook, I can’t help but laugh and shudder all at once. There you are, this chubby, silly, little girl, but my oh my are you happy. You may wonder why chubby is an important thing to point out, but looking back being the chubby friend didn’t affect me when I was younger.
Right now, you really don’t care that you are a bit bigger than our friends. It’s only now as I’m writing this that I’m realizing what an effect social media has had on my own body image and self esteem. I’ve then since recovered from the inner torment of the girls that look better than me, but it really tore me apart through my teen years. So, please just be kind to yourself.
Dayna, I’ve got to tell you. You are a pretty young lady. I know you like taking photos and please post any and all of them. I know you are right now, but you’re eventually going to stop. You’re soon going to start noticing that all the other girls get way more likes from boys. Don’t let that stop you from posting photos. Just because Cassi and Leah have boyfriends who comment on their photos telling them that they’re beautiful does not mean that you are not. Please don’t seek self-worth from the boys in your class. They are ruthless.
I’ve got some advice for you. I know right now you are a loud and obnoxious little lady, and I hate to break it to you but you never grow out of that. This is reflected in your Facebook. Right now, you love to post. Whatever is on your mind, any little joke, stupid thought, anything and everything seems to be worth sharing, and let me tell you, it is. Mom and Dad are now at an age where they can hardly remember what it is like being a kid, they don’t have the content you are writing to look back on. So please keep going.
During your teen years you’ll look back and be embarrassed by these hilarious photos and posts, but you’re going to grow up to treasure them. You’re going to look back at the stupid notes you posted and you’re going to remember all the emo songs on your iPod that made you feel so strongly. Just an FYI, all those stupid Harry Potter jokes are still funny. Those people you chat with publicly on each other’s walls are still your best friends.
Really D, what I have to say to you is just keep doing you. Don’t let the lack of what other people say online affect you. Post your little heart out. Be kind. Have fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously. What matters most is you and your happiness.
XOXO
10 years older, hardly more wiser, Dayna
