Dear Lix,

(Yes, that nickname stuck)

You’re probably sitting here wondering why you are reading this and even more so, why did I write this in the first place. Simply put, I have to. This letter is an assignment for a class called RTA 905 Social Media. Yup, there is such a thing now. I’m supposed to be telling you about the “dark side of social media” and how to successfully navigate through it by “practising safe social”…however I think I’m gonna take this in a different direction (I know you’re smirking right now).

First of all, what is the dark side of social media? Well, it’s pretty much the same script for what they used to warn people about the dangers of video games, or television, or even, like, cigarettes. It causes mental health problems, self-image issues; it affects sleep and productivity; it’s an addiction.

Now don’t get it twisted. I’m not disputing any of that. There are proven statistics and I can testify to it’s truth. Social media does take a toll on your mental health, but “practising safe social” is merely a tool for mitigation. There is a bigger picture here.

As you’re reading this, social media has already started and will continue to quite literally take over the world. Dramatic, I know. I just don’t really think I need to warn you about the dangers and consequences of cyberbullying, or how unrealistic the reality that Kylie Jenner and friends portray actually is, or how you’re self-worth is in no way equal to the amount of likes or reblogs or favourites you get on a post. You’re smart. You will figure that out on your own.

Not to mention, you will be in no shortage of information on the “dark side of social media” and how to “practise safe social”. People will rant and rave and “advocate” for protection against and education on the potential harm associated with our generations online addiction. They’ll relay the exponential statistics on teens and social media usage and how it correlates to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and any other mental illness that the average person doesn’t actually understand.

I can’t safeguard you from the images of beautiful girls that you will aspire to look like. I can’t protect you from mean things people might say to you online (I can however suggest you don’t get Formspring or AskFM, they’re a waste of time and really not worth the headache). And I can’t necessarily change how you are going to feel about yourself during these daunting teenage years.

I am sorry you are going to have to go through what you will over the next few years. It is not fair, it will suck, and it is going to be a long journey. You may think that by me writing this letter to you, my past self, I could use what I know now, having made it out alive, to teach you how to prevent yourself from falling into this trap…but to be honest, I don’t think that’s the case.

No, I am not talking about a social media trap. I am talking about the trap that is your own mind. The vicious cycle of perfectionism and not ever learning how to love yourself, a trap you fell into, or quite arguably were fated* with, before social media ever existed.

One day you will realize a need for control in your life and find a lack thereof. In search of a way to make your life as perfect as possible, you will fall trap to your mind and become consumed with this idea of perfection that doesn’t actually exist (Nobody is perfect…even though people will comment “OMG ur perfect!!” on all of your Instagram posts). Anorexia will change you in ways those middle school health projects could’ve never prepared you for.

Let it be known that by creating an Instagram or Tumblr account and fawning over how ‘perfect’ Alexis Ren is, you did not set yourself up for this. Nor is it the fault of the kids who would call you “fat” or whatever it is they would say, they’re just assholes.

Scapegoating this issue won’t get you anywhere. A mental illness can be triggered by external factors, but it is not caused by them.

I wish I could tell you something that would prevent you from falling prisoner to your own mind, or better, something that would set your mind free. But I can’t and that’s a topic for a whole other essay that I will one day write. *insert link here in the future*

However, what I can tell you is:

The journey will be long, hard, and painful, but it will make you that much stronger.

You might get caught up in the drama of the moment, and that’s okay, just keep this in mind: I don’t even remember the name of that boy and those girls are literally just jealous.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone, the grass is always greener.

You are going to face self-hatred head on and you better fight back because you are worth it.

Accept help. Mom always said, “you can do anything you put your mind to,” it’s just a hell of a lot harder trying to do it on your own.

And my final word of advice,

Learn how to love yourself, first.

Once you do, none of that high school bull**** will mean anything to you, the effects of social media will fly over your head, and you will be able to navigate through this journey we call life with significantly less bumps in the road than I did.

Good luck babygirl

You can kick Anorexias butt, and anyone else’s who gets in the way. I know it.

Love,

2018 you