Dear Past Emma: A Facebook Reflection
Dear Past Emma,
You’re thirteen years old, and you’re about to make a Facebook account.
You’re at your childhood friend’s house, and both your parents are on vacation. Your friend is showing you her Facebook profile, her Paint-edited profile picture, the bumper stickers and pins that adorn her wall. She says you should get one, we can be friends.
You say to yourself, ‘I thought we were already friends? But maybe Facebook friends are different than real life friends?’. This will be a thought that reoccurs in approximately three years when you’re in high school.
So on a rushed phone call with poor reception to your parents, you quickly ask if you can make a Facebook account. And whether they understand or know what Facebook is, or just didn’t hear clearly, they say ‘Sure’ and you take that as the go ahead.
And before you know it, you have your very own Facebook profile. All yours. Or is it? Your friend takes a photo of you, edits it with a haze and black and white filter. You’ll have to remind yourself to remember all these programs and tools she’s using.
That will be your first time signing up for a social media account. It won’t be the last. But soon enough, you’ll actually meet the age requirement, not having to lie and say you’re a 20 something.
Facebook will be an adventure. You’ll race home to get to the computer, to talk to people you just saw at school. Especially a boy. He’ll ask you for help with science homework, and you’ll give him the answers because that’s how you think a boy will ask you out (spoiler alert: he doesn’t ask you out then, and never does, although you two do share a slow dance and you think it’s magical like a Taylor Swift song). You’ll post bumper stickers, flair and poke your friends. It feels nice and fun, just a thing to do outside of school.
Somewhere along the way, it changes. When you turn sixteen, you will receive an iPhone. Your iPhone lets you take this Facebook thing everywhere you go. And then you get Instagram to go along with Facebook. Then this Facebook thing becomes a necessity you have to update. You don’t want to be the girl who’s known as ‘looking better in real life than in pictures’. You want to look better online. You’ll carefully edit your pictures, post captions and statuses that show just how ~deep~ and ~cool~ you are. But you’ll also post photos that show your funny side and your humour.
You will never be called sexy on the internet. Ever. And looking back on it, I’m glad you weren’t. You prided yourself on your personality, and your wits to show your online presence. And not that there’s anything wrong with being sexy on the internet, go for it, but you did what you were comfortable with and who you knew you wanted to be. And I’m proud of you for that.
You’ll have moments where things you see online will make you cry. Someone will post a mean status about you, or ignore your message, or not tag you in a photo. This pain will feel so real and so urgent, but you will get through it and learn to never cause that harm to someone else.
You will feel lesser-than when looking at the popular girls on Facebook and Instagram. You’re relationship status won’t change, nothing to make it ‘Facebook official’. You’ll have a painful friendship breakup on the bridge from high school to university and when that ‘Friends’ tab changes to an ‘Add as Friend’ button, you will know it’s over.
And then a lot of good will happen online. You’ll make a best friend after she comments on your OC photo, saying that she loves that show too. You’ll keep in touch with friends that live far away. You’ll find communities with people that think the same way as you, who have similar interests. All your new University friends will become so much more than Facebook friends.
So, past Emma. You’re making your Facebook account. My advice? Be yourself, as you always are. You have your values, stick to ’em, whether online or off. Don’t take hate from random strangers. Say positive things online. Always accept your Mom’s friend request, she never got to experience this online life at your age. Watch cute cat videos as often as possible. But most importantly remember that the best part of going on the Internet is you can always log off. And you should remember that it’s not only important to have Facebook memories, but real life memories. Ones that don’t need a status or a photo to hold near and dear to your heart.
So with that being said, Past Emma, best wishes from Future Emma. Things turn out more than okay.
