Dear social media: I control you. *I really don’t*..
Social media is a touchy topic. I say this because I feel like I am who I am because of it and I am not who I could have become because of it.
Social media is impeccable, with the capabilities it allows and the doors it opens, but at the same time, social media is scary. Social media for a while has known and proven to be bad for us, yet we (especially the younger generation) continue to consume it more and more, to the point where we have undoubtedly become addicted. Social media has created an unhealthy media centric world, where we value looks and aesthetics over good character and personality. We are a generation where we, sadly to say, carelessly value likes, comments and followers and its only leading to more depression, anxiety and stress. And I dont say this because it is obvious. I say this because it is factual. In fact, a 2017 UK survey ranked Instagram as the worst social media app worst for young peoples mental health, where it states “Social media has been described as more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol, and is now so entrenched in the lives of young people that it is no longer possible to ignore it when talking about young people’s mental health issues”. It is sad, but this is the only truth. We have become major consumers of a deadly product, and we have lost control of it.
My life with social media:
Going back to when I first opened my account, things were different. Social media was not as it is now for me, it was more of an open space to see what everyone is doing and at the same time, a platform for you to judge and get judged. When I first opened Facebook, I remember I used to upload all the photos I would take of myself and my friends having a great time, doing “cool people things”. As years passed, it moved from being a platform allowing you to share photos and statuses about what you’re doing to uploading emotions through statuses, to who has the most friends and likes. Everything I used to feel, every fight I had with someone, I felt it was necessary to share it in order to gain attention from people and recognize that they actually cared about me. That on its own would make me feel better. I remember a huge conversation topic was who had the most friends on social media, which would reflect on how cool and popular you were, because back in that time that was the most important thing. Then as years came by, likes and followers on Instagram and how many friends you had on snapchat dominated
Reflecting back on how disturbing social media was in all forms is frightening. Up until this day, as learnt in lecture, the highlight reel and social currency are major stressors on social media. Likes, comments, shares are all things we want to see. Actually, to be specific, we don’t just want to see them, we want to feel them, we want to embrace it and we want to share it. We have transformed from being human beings to being products of society, being given a value every time a reaction is sparked from a post. I used to wait until it was the right time of the day in order to post, otherwise I would get 50 likes and that was nowhere near enough for my self-esteem. Was it the filter? Was it the post? Was it me!? Just like taking a product off the shelves, I would take myself off social media for the simple reason that I wasn’t selling fast enough. It got to the point where I had to pay for an application to get likes just to feel proud and satisfied, even though I was well aware that I was simply playing myself. At that point, it wasn’t about me. It was about showing that I can be something big, something loved and something that would get people to respond. I say this knowing i’m not the only one, but you went through this path too.
I sit here, writing this blog thinking of all the stressors that social media brings, and how blind I was to notice how invaluable these things actually are. I let likes and comments determine my self-worth, disregarded the people who actually loved me and instead bought people to love me more. My identity, my character and my individuality were lost, and up until now I am still trying to collect all the shattered pieces I have lost along the way. In our current society, we judge people based on how popular they are. “Do you know Beyoncé? How can’t you know beyoncé she has 113M followers!!!!!!!!?”. In order to be considered educated, you need to know famous people and influencers not because of what they do, but merely because they have so many followers and get so many likes.
There are so many things I could wish were different. But it’s too late now, and all I can do is write a letter to you, to me, to us. So, to my younger self; don’t spend your time downloading different apps to increase your publicity, don’t waste your time reading articles on “everything you need to know to get more likes and comments” , and don’t think you are the best version of yourself only when you have people to see it and approve. No, you are not a product waiting to be sold over and over again, otherwise you are deemed unsuccessful. You are certainly worth more than a couple of likes and comments. You are probably going to spend your time editing and sharing the best and brightest moments, when you are really broken inside. You’re going to think making people think you are happy and are having a great time is worth more than what you actually feel. And I wish I could have told you this earlier, but no. Use social media effectively, use it share your good times for you to reflect on later on, not for anyone else. Social media has so many benefits, where you are able to connect with anyone you want to. So show the best part of you, and be proud of what you are. Spread positivity and simply stop judging.
