It Gets Better
Dear 13 year old me,
It gets better.
You’re probably wondering what I mean, so let me explain. You just made a Facebook account. Mum finally thinks you’re old enough, and has set aside her fears of cyber bullying, and other online predators. More than that, she thinks that you are strong enough and wise enough, to avoid such negativity, or at the very least, to handle it gracefully.
She’s wrong.
Things are going to get tough. Extremely tough. And you won’t always handle it very well. You’re going to lose friends in the process, and people you don’t even know are going to affect you more than you ever thought they could. But you will survive. In fact, while I may be biased, I think you’ve grown to become a pretty impressive woman. Even though all of the garbage, the mean words, and the exclusion, are what shaped you into the woman you are today (or, I guess the woman I am), I’m going to give you some advice. Not to avoid it all, but to get through it a little easier. So here goes:
Be yourself. This is the most important piece of advice that I’m going to give you, and trust me, I know how often mum says it - believe me, she still does, ALL THE TIME. But, she does it with good reason. Because no matter how many times she tells you that she’s proud of you for following her advice, you know deep down that she’s wrong. You aren’t being yourself. You haven’t been for a while. Social media is about to make that worse. You are going to fall into the trap that you should act and look like everyone else, and you’ll be stuck there for a while - 5 years to be exact. You’ll post obnoxious statuses, duck lip selfies, and attempt to make yourself sound and look older than you are. None of it is worth it. You are unique, quirky, caring, and smart. Eventually you’ll realize that that is your best self, and that the happiest you’ll ever be, is when you’re being exactly that. Don’t worry, you’ll get there.
Don’t take things so seriously.
Age 15–18 is going to be hard, really hard. You’re going to be on Facebook, Twitter, and of course the worst of all the social media platforms - ask.fm. On top of that, you’re going to have finally moved on from the mean girls you used to call friends (resulting in you becoming their new victim), and be dating the guy who doesn’t, and never will, realize your worth. It’s a tough time, and people are going to say a lot of mean things, some to your face, but most anonymously, and the latter surprisingly feels worse. Here’s the thing: you know that none of it is true, so don’t take it seriously. I know how impossible that sounds, because I remember how much it hurt. How much I cried, and how hopeless everything felt. BUT SERIOUSLY YOU’LL BE OKAY. I PROMISE. THEY SO AREN’T WORTH IT. You are going to end up so happy. I know, because I am. I am so happy, and you’ll get here - faster than you realize.
Final words. The online world can be a great place, and social media does rock - when used wisely. Just don’t care so much about the likes, followers, and tags. Focus on the tool that it can be. In grade 12 you’ll start to realize, and you’ll begin to build your personal brand. Now, at 20 you’ve sort of figured it out. You’ve formed a decent brand, ignored the haters, found and utilized your unique sense of humour and charm, and you’re happy. Really, truly happy. So promise me just one thing: don’t hesitate for a split second during course intentions for Winter 2017, Social Media is going to teach you so much, not just about social media, but about yourself.
Cheers,
You at 20
P.S. Cut your hair already. It looks so much better short.
