My first experience with FOMO
My first experience with social media was MSN. One day I specifically remember hearing all of my friends on the bus talking about their msn names, reminding each other to log on a specific time, reminiscing about the previous night’s chats and it was in that moment, at the ripe age of 9, that I had my first experience with FOMO. I quickly whipped out a scrap piece of paper and a pen, passing it out to my bus friends while simultaneously yelling out the window of the bus inquiring about my other friends’ screen names. As such, my presence on social media began out of my need to stay in touch. That night, I had a major decision ahead of me — what would my screen name be? I resorted to a fool proof theory that would follow me throughout my social media career for years — copy the people I admire. So I did just that, drawing inspiration from a girl in my brother’s grade that I thought was really cool and my older cousin. I end up with… drumroll please… dragonlady 24. With that, I began a standard relationship with social media — one that I would eventually learn was unhealthy and unproductive.
The next major platform I joined was Twitter. In grade 7 I was at one of my friend’s houses, long after the party had ended and majority of the guests had left, the birthday girl peer pressured me into getting twitter. Despite no longer being friends with said person, the one relationship that remains from that night is my dedication to Twitter. Twitter was one of the social media’s I used most liberally. I would tweet things I found funny, sarcastic thoughts, my disdain for particular teachers (in a palatable way!).
By grade 9, I had set up my Instagram account and by grade 10 it was perfectly curated. I was following the footsteps of Instagram famous girls and Youtubers that I admired. The VSCO-CAM photo editing was my light and saviour, and my greatest accomplishment was getting my first 300 likes on a selfie. However, I quickly followed down this path of needing to live up to expectations and standards that were not my own. I would spend multiple hours in a week planning out my photos and editing them for ‘post days’. If a photo didn’t get enough likes I would delete it. If a photo didn’t end up matching my feed a few weeks down the line it would get the boot. There is no way that curation to such a degree is genuine. My entire social media presence was built upon presenting the best moments of my life while simultaneously attempting to outshine the best moments of others’ lives.
I eventually came to the realization that Instagram, one of my most frequented apps, was no longer enjoyable. You know when girls go through a breakup and they feel the need to do something drastic, like cut their hair or change their wardrobe, as a means of actualizing a fresh start? Well, I broke up the false representation of myself. For roughly nine months I went without Instagram. It was hard, and then it was not.
9 months later I came back as a new woman, free from the chains of a curated profile and perfectly edited photos. Now, social media is liberating. I use it however I please, whether that entails tweeting about my political beliefs and movements that I support, posting 5 Instagram photos a day, or not posting at all for months. I post photos about things that I care about — primarily friends, food, concerts, clothes — and I tweet about topics that deserve to be spoken about.
I think many of us tend to forget that our social media accounts are ours. They are not for anyone else. Those that choose to follow you have taken it upon themselves to do so. We should not be concerned with how others perceive our content or posting frequency so as long as it is the content that we enjoy. Present yourself in an idealistic light, so long as it is not self-damaging; present yourself realistically; use social media for hours at a time; use social media only when deemed absolutely necessary.
If I could write a letter to my younger self I would tell her to take a breath. You are an over-active thinker and fear isolation. It is okay to grow and follow a path that divulges from the one followed by your peers. These moments are meant to be captured as good memories, not moments you will look back and relive the stress associated with getting that post up in time or editing the photo perfectly. Do not concern yourself with impressing other people. You will grow up to be strong-headed and stubborn, forcefully carving a path of your own. Take a break and focus on the things and people in front of you, not those that are limited to a digital screen.
Ultimately, it is up to the individual decide their respective relationship with social media. While presenting myself and my life in a utopian manner was not personally beneficial, curating one’s social media account may serve as a positive creative outlet for others. Re-define your FOMO (I’ve made mine ‘fine on my own’). Allow social media to be a beacon of experimentation, exploration, entertainment and education, rather than one that urges you to feel the need to constantly out-do those around you.
