Social Media and Your Sense of Self: Why You Shouldn’t Get Lost in the Numbers

Among the many associations and connotations that come along with the term ‘social media’, a word that instantly comes to mind would be gratifying. Now, this gratification can come from many fine things in the world of social media like community, connectivity, and even self-expression. However, too often these purer approaches get lost in translation and the valuable attributes of social media become overshadowed with meaningless, destructive messages. It is easy (actually, too, easy), to joke about how our culture today revolves greatly around the instant self-gratification that comes along with social media. However, as sad as it is, it really is no joke. Social media, although it can be used for good and can produce good, easily breeds discontent — often in the form of insecurity. Catalysts in a sense, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all the others make it easy to get wrapped up in minutes at comparing yourselves to millions of others; all projecting different anomalies of the “perfect” life. This discontentment, this dissatisfaction with one’s life and self is rooted in the metrics and is hard to ignore.

For me, personally, I can honestly and vulnerably say that social media metrics have indeed affected and continue to affect my sense of self; although it is something I am constantly and consciously working on trying to eradicate. The most influential social media channel affecting my sense of self would probably be Instagram. Images have a way of communicating in ways that words cannot; in ways that words can sometimes fail to emote certain feelings and messages.

Perspectives are subjective.

Different images hold different meanings and significances for whoever is seeing it. But, in the end, pictures have a way of staying in our minds much more vividly than words ever will. That being said, seeing models, celebrities, and other beautiful people travelling and just (seemingly) living much better lives has too many a time made myself wish my life looked a lot like so many others. However, every time I catch myself thinking like that I mentally slap myself for thinking such shallow, vain, things — because truly I am blessed in so many ways that others are not. Having good health, a roof over your head, food to eat, access to education, and people that love you for you — among so many other things — should always be enough.

In fact, it’s more than enough.

But, we get lost in the Instagram quicksand where one or three likes feels good at first, and then suddenly we’re not satisfied with anything less than 50, and then you’re not pretty or cool unless you get 250 likes and have 87 comments telling you just how beautiful/amazing/perfect you are.

Quicksand.

You don’t realize you’re in trouble until it’s too late.

There have been times that I have deleted pictures because they didn’t get 10 likes in a minute (because that’s how you know whether or not your picture was insta-worthy), there have been times where I have deleted pictures because they didn’t fit with my “feed” (*cough *cough aesthetic), and there have been multiple times where I’ve woken up, checked my phone and have felt excessively disappointed thinking that my picture would have gotten a lot more likes than it did. It’s really, really, sad. And I didn’t realize how much of a problem this was until I realized just how much emotionally I became attached to social media. All the likes, the follows, the comments — it’s all worthless currency intrinsically if you think about it; yet we treat it as if it’s the equivalent to getting richer. In reality, the more we focus on it, the poorer we become.

From being a person that used to find so much value in social media and its metrics, to finding some pure value in it, the ability to stray away from vanity and keep yourself accountable relies upon the mindset that your platform should give you joy in the way it helps you help others. There’s a saying somewhere that says we find the most joy within ourselves in the way we serve others — and I think that’s totally true. Therefore, my understanding of value now in terms of social media lies not within solely the likes, comments, and follows I get for whatever pictures I post — but most importantly it lies within the message and purpose of those posts. Don’t get me wrong if you want to post a selfie because it makes you feel good about yourself go right ahead! But don’t do it for the purpose of getting likes because then you really aren’t posting it because only YOU like it. You’re posting in the hopes that others will like it more than you and that’s not the right mindset to have; because, then, you’ll never ever be satisfied. It’ll never be enough. You’re stepping right back into that quicksand. But, if you post and use your platforms to represent yourself and what you stand for in a way that hopes to maybe help/inspire/motivate others or as a way to creatively express yourself, then there is tremendous value in that. There will always be value in that.