Social Media: the heralding of self-censorship

Prompt: How have social media metrics affected your sense of self? How have they influenced your understanding of value?

Freedom of speech, freedom of anything — that seems to be the biggest thing we care about in this day and age. While we try to fight it out offline, ironically, it seems we’ve been subconsciously practicing censorship on ourselves because of social media too.

This week’s blog prompts reminded me of a debate I once saw online about how people aren’t showcasing their true selves on social media when they crop out certain things to make the picture more appealing to the viewer. The article argued about how the user was portraying a different, picture-perfect (no pun intended) self to others.

For reference: http://www.lifehack.org/322176/behind-the-scenes-wonderful-instagram-photos-make-you-rethink-social-media

While I would like to say my sense of self has not been affected by social media, I cannot deny that it has influenced the way I wish to portray myself to others. My friends still know me for who I am, but I have become much wearier about who my Instagram followers perceive me to be. Not that I am an entirely different person online and offline, but I’m just a little less goofy, a little less emotional, a little less of myself online.

Every time I want to post something on Instagram, at least three versions of the same photo sit in my drafts — each either of a different level of contrast, different composition or a different level of exposure. There are other permutations, but we could go on forever.

I would hover over each draft back and forth, adjust the alignment for at least 10 minutes because I just couldn’t get the photo straight, then I’d spend the next 20 minutes thinking of a witty caption. Finally, when it’s Instagram prime time, I hold my breath and press “share”. Or if I suddenly hate the picture I abort the mission and leave my feed untouched for the next 5 days.

Think this is crazy? Me too. But I’m not alone, am I?

I’ve become this Instagram aesthetic wannabe who lets the number of likes define what kind of person I am. Subconsciously, I’ve let this metric become an affirmation of my photography or level of “aesthetic” (codeword for Instagram popularity?).

The mini panic-attack before I post anything has caused me to question my confidence so many times, just like what was portrayed in Black Mirror’s Nosedive.

Yet, I can’t help but wonder whether this panic could be necessary. At least for an aspiring photojournalist (but who knows what will happen a few years later) or someone who sees themselves as a photography enthusiast, these metrics are indeed a measure of one’s capabilities and level of exposure. Which photographer doesn’t want to get their picture out there for affirmation?

In the panel with Stephen Sills, it hit me about how important it was to engage in more passion projects in the industry that I’m venturing into, as well as to manage our social media accounts effectively. It seems our social media pages have become an important portfolio for us to put our best selves forward.

As the popularity and importance of social media has evolved over the years, so have the way we understand the value of things. If the value of Instagram, to me, is a platform to show creative work in a personal space, is it wrong to want a feed that looks good? I would not go so far as to call aesthetic cropping and lighting “deceiving”. I believe you can show off your creative work on Instagram or post about your every day life for all YOU care.

Selective self-representation — we do it all the time, even in real life.