To 2005 Me: Social Media Will Change You
To my younger, slightly more awkward 2005 self,
Hello! It’s me, Paitra. Or should I say, it’s you. Technically it’s us. Wow I’m already off to a confusing start. Okay, anyway. I’m writing to you to give you a big ole’ heads up about what the future of socializing and technology holds. There is going to be something called “social media” and it will significantly impact your life. Don’t worry, you mostly have had pleasant experiences using it but I have some warnings and tips to share with you before you make the same mistakes that I did.
If you are reading this anytime before November 28th of 2005 then I’m going to tell you about your first social media experience that is soon to occur. You’re going to have a sleepover at your cousin Aimie’s house and she’s going to show you a goofy video of two teenagers, Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla, lip-synching to the Pokémon theme song. They’re from a channel called SMOSH, and you’ll be watching this on a new platform called “YouTube.” You’re going to love it and be infatuated with them for a few years.
A few years from now, when your friends and family stop using MSN to talk with one another, you’re going to discover a website called Facebook. This will be the first social media platform you ever create an account on, so this is some exciting stuff! The only downfall is that you’re in grade six and even though almost all of your friends are using Facebook, mom and dad won’t let you have an account because “your sister didn’t get Facebook until the end of grade 7 so that’s when you‘re allowed to have it.” You’re going to listen to them for a bit, but then halfway through grade 7 when you’re fed up because you feel like you’re missing out, you’re going to create a fake account under the name “Hubert Finklerheimer.” Don’t ask me where you came up with that name because I honestly have no clue. You’re going to add your friends from school on there and finally experience that feeling of online connection! You’re going to be able to talk to some people online that you’re normally too shy to talk to in person, and you’re going to be able to see photos of their lives and things that they’ve done. You’re also going to start slightly comparing yourself to them, but not that much. Oh also, two months after Hubert’s creation, mom will discover the account and ban you from using Facebook until the end of grade 8.
By the time you’ve waited another year to make a Facebook account, you’ll have just received your first iPod touch for Christmas! In February, Justin Bieber will release his tour movie called “Never Say Never” and you’ll fall madly in love with him (present-me is laughing). You will love him so much that you wish you had a way to talk to him, so you go on Google and type in “message Justin Bieber” (I don’t know why you think that would help you), and the first option that you click is a website called Twitter. You see that he has an account where he posts statuses but also talks to fans (!!!) so you instantly make an account and start tweeting at him. You’ll have a pretty pleasant experience using Twitter because you’ll just be following JB and some of your friends, but it’s not until you discover Instagram when your life will really be impacted by social media.
Sometime in 2012, you’ll make an account on the photo-sharing platform known as Instagram. For the first year and a bit, you’ll rarely go on it and post maybe once every few months, but you’ll keep it on your iPod Touch anyway (no, you won’t have a cellphone until the end of grade nine) because your friends use it and you still want to feel connected. It won’t be until midway through grade 10 when you start using it more often and start following accounts that are not people you know, like celebrities or a few girls that you see are dating members of 1D. This is when you’re going to start comparing yourself to the girls you see online. You can’t help it, because by this point you’ve moved on from Justin Bieber and onto One Direction, so if you see members of your favourite boyband dating these tall, slim, beautiful women, you’re going to think “well maybe if I looked like that then boys will also like me.” PLEASE take these thoughts out of your head right now, because it only goes downhill for a bit from here. You’re going to want to start working out and eating healthier, which technically is a good thing, but because of the impacts Instagram has on you, you won’t actually have a healthy mind. You’re going to start doing research on calories, “how to get abs in a week,” “how to lose 10lbs in 10 days,” etc. and you’re going to try everything you see on the internet. You’re going to develop orthorexia and become obsessed with counting calories, and you’re going to be so self-conscious about your body and looks that you won’t ever feel comfortable. You’re going to compare yourself to the skinnier, prettier girls that you see on Instagram and Tumblr (oh ya, you now have a Tumblr blog). You’re also going to make a Tumblr blog solely dedicated to your “fitness journey,” even though it consists of you doing excess cardio and under-eating. But you can’t help it because you’re uneducated, and according to the top three results on your Google searches, it’s the “right way to do it.”
Even though you don’t post on your social media accounts as often as your friends do, you’re still looking up the hashtags #skinny, #fit, and #weightloss because you’re trying to “motivate” yourself, but in reality you’re just comparing yourself and bringing your self-esteem down. By the beginning of grade 12, you’ll have your shit together and have actually done thorough research to educate yourself on the human anatomy and our biology to understand what your body actually needs to survive and be healthy. This is a good thing, because now you’re healthier than you’ve ever been, both mentally and physically. Or should I say, more so physically because remember that good ole’ pal known as “social media”? Yeah, it still affects you.
You’re going to make a lot of new friends in grade 12 who aren’t from your hometown, so you’re going to want to connect with them in any way that you can. This will increase the amount of time you spend using social media. You’re also going to become more obsessed with using Instagram and Snapchat (WOOHOO, a new social media app!) that you’ll experience withdrawals when you do not have cell service or a Wi-Fi connection. You’re going to see your friends experience anxiety and stress when they post something online and it doesn’t receive as many likes/comments as they anticipated. To them, it’s social currency. It attributes value to them and the more likes they get, the happier they feel. It’s only temporary happiness though. This will make you think to yourself “should I worry about social media like this, too?” The answer is HELL NO, and, thankfully, you don’t! Well, not really. Sometimes when I post something that I really like, and it doesn’t do too well, I may wonder why it didn’t receive as many interactions as I had hoped for. But I don’t really stress about it because I constantly tell myself to not let insights from social media affect my mood. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the id part of my ego (aka the devil on my shoulder) tries to make me stressed and anxious, but then my superego (aka the angel on my shoulder) swoops right in and counterattacks. As long as you keep telling yourself this, Paitra, then you’re going to be okay.
Something that you’re trying to do now is check your phone less. You almost have a nervous tick or reflex to just grab your phone, turn it on and start scrolling through all social media apps, even though you just did this about 5 minutes ago and are viewing the same content. You’ve done some experiments where you’ve turned your data off while out in public, or you’ve put your phone away for the entire duration of you being at a restaurant for dinner, and you feel like you’ve somewhat cleansed yourself. Keep doing this!! You don’t need to check your phone all the time, it’s just a distraction and there’s nothing important to see. Sure, you might need to text mom something important, but you don’t need to open Instagram and scroll, then open Twitter and scroll, then open Facebook and scroll, etc.
Out of the four main stressors of social media, the only one that you really experience is FOMO (fear of missing out). You want to stay “in the loop” with the people you follow and see what’s currently going on in their lives. However, there’s only certain people you care to see. It’s mainly the people you hang out with, or the people you want to hang out with, because you want to see what they’re doing at night while you’re at home doing homework. Or when you’ve been invited out somewhere but can’t attend because you have other plans, so you think that by checking snapchat/Instagram stories of what you’re missing out on will make you feel like you’re there but really it just increases your FOMO. You need to start living in the moment and enjoying what you’re experiencing, when you’re experiencing it. It’ll make life much easier and more enjoyable.
Your sleeping patterns will become messed up, too, because your REM is being interrupted and you’re having subconscious thoughts about whether you should’ve posted that photo, if it was “too weird,” or if your comment was “good” or “funny” enough on your friends’ picture. This is just giving you anxiety, so cut it out because at the end of the day, nobody cares. Seriously, nobody gives a shit. Social media is also distracting you from your studies and every-day life experiences because it breaks your focus and you feel the need to check notifications. If you check your Instagram four hours after receiving a notification, it’s not the end of the world. You’re going to survive, so don’t let it affect you.
I’ve written this letter not to scare you, but to prepare you for what’s to come. Social media is an amazing thing! You have established some life-long connections through it, and it’s an amazing tool to use to connect, promote and share. You’re able to finally express your creativity through your Instagram page and YouTube channel, and the positive feedback makes you feel so good about yourself. Therefore, don’t let social media negatively affect you. Think of what I’ve told you in this letter and avoid making the same mistakes that I did. Don’t check your notifications all the time, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, don’t overthink your posts and comments, and don’t compare yourself to others. Your online experience will be much more enjoyable, and you will feel so so good.
One last thing: Hubert Finklerheimer was a great choice. Well done.
Much love,
Paitra
