How To Protect Ourselves From Abuses? -Rubalif
Let’s move a little back. Back when I was in school.
My school was far from my house. Since childhood, I always went to school by school bus. As I grew up at a moment I had to travel from different transports.
During class 9/10 I had to take two public types of transport. My mother was scared cause I was traveling alone. Thinking What might happen to me? As a woman, she had enough idea about men’s behavior. Like most other people she thought if her girl covers herself properly people won’t abuse her, she won’t get rape. In one word she would be safe.
In the end, I was forced to wear a hijab. I am not someone who sits quietly, I always keep jumping around here and there. So When I started wearing hijab I felt uncomfortable. One request. Religious people don’t just jump and talk shit about me let me finish.
Wearing a hijab was like a burden to me. I felt insecure, I couldn’t move as I wanted.
Back to my mother’s thought. She thought the hijab will protect me from abuse.
Sadly that never worked. I was abused constantly. From the passenger who sat beside me, the guy who was standing behind me, the man who was showing people he is helping me to settle, to the conductor. Everyone. In fact, those who couldn’t touch my eye raped me. I was in school uniform with a hijab. Still, I was getting bad touches. Trust me at a moment I got used to it.
To those who’s gonna ask why didn’t I sit beside any woman. Dude your father didn’t buy those buses so those sits beside the woman were sealed for me. Assholes when a girl gets on a bus she firstly search sits beside the woman. She sits only around the man when there is no other sit available.
Second question In fact most of the people’s common thought. Why a girl is traveling alone? Let me help you. Maybe nobody ever told you but dude you are sick. And there isn’t any cure for your sickness and have fun with your toxic mentalities and toxic life. You are not human. In fact, you are the future raper. Congratulations man.
Third question why I was on a crowded bus? To you, a girl shouldn’t get on a crowded bus or an almost empty bus. When I was having exams were you the one who wrote for me in the exam halls? Nope. Exactly I had to go no matter what happened.
Now let’s move to my college life.
Same way, same transport, same wearing my uniform while traveling only the difference is I wasn’t wearing any hijab anymore.
I explained to my mother that it is too much for me, I can’t handle it. She understood. Now don’t start bitching about my mother for why she allowed me to go out without wearing a hijab.
Let me finish first.
So I was happy not wearing a hijab, I felt free, I was comfortable. I could hop on any bus I want, I was confident. And finally, nothing was controlling my energy. You can say I am a liar now. But abuses actually stopped. I was getting no more bad touches men were eye raping but they couldn’t get the courage to touch me again. A time came when they couldn’t even check me out cause I was staring directly into their eyes. That time I was really traveling safely, happily.
Now let me ask you a question. Why I was not getting bad touches anymore? If your answer is because I stopped wearing hijab? Then You physio, you spent all your life blaming the girls for a short dress and showed fake religious education. There was nothing about the hijab. The whole thing was about comfort, confidence, and insecurities.
When I was wearing hijab I was uncomfortable, insecure so the men thought I was weak. They thought they can do anything to me and I won’t speak a word. They weren’t wrong though. When I was not with hijab I was comfortable, confident. I was full of energy and
the men couldn’t build any courage to touch me.
Now we are at a point where girls are not safe in their own house. So let me share some basic things to avoid abuses.
- Be Comfortable:
When yo u are going out wear something comfortable. If you are comfortable wearing a burka it’s okay. if you are comfortable in hijab it’s okay. If you are comfortable wearing western that’s also okay. Salwar kami, are comfortable wearing western that’s also okay. Salwar kamij, tops, formal everything is okay if you are comfortable. When you are comfortable you relax automatically and you won’t be insecure anymore. Men like to screw with insure girls cause an insecure girl who never fights back. When the guy will see you are comfortable he will think twice to touch you.
2. Confidence:
I hope everyone has attended any group activities or sports or debates or competition. Either you are the confident one or the tense one. Imagine you are in a compilation for public speaking. You are staying in the line. If the earlier participants are good and confident. You will automatically think of them as your competitors. If you are the confident one you won’t feel threatened cause deep down you know you are good enough and you can do better. So automatically you will kill your performance. But if you are the tense one you will start shaking, sweating. And you definitely will screw your lines.
And others will beat you. This is the thing. When you are out and confident the abusers won’t dare to touch you. Cause they know they are doing bad and your confidence will make them insecure.
3. Insecurities:
As a girl, we all are insecure about something. And when we are insecure we are the weakest. And that’s what the abusers are craving for. When you are walking don’t care about how you are walking, don’t care about what you are wearing. When you are on the bus don’t let the tensions cover your face. And boys help your girls to get over their insecurities. Keep telling her she is pretty again and again. Make her believe in herself make her loving herself.
Now the question is why? How these things will protect us?
Think a bit wisely. Does a man have his wife whom he can fuck whenever he wants then why he is raping someone? Why he is forcing someone when he can get the same thing easily. It’s because they get kicks from these. As we all know forbidden things are always fun. They have fun when someone breaks in front of them. So when you are moving outside showing you are unbreakable they won’t be interested. That’s a simple fact.
The whole thing has nothing to do with religion. And stop blaming Girls. A 6-month-old baby had been raped, an 8-month pregnant woman was raped, a woman wearing burkas is getting rape, young boys are also getting rape. And abuses are spread everywhere. The abusers don’t give a shit about it.
Society will always blame the victims. All we can do is protect ourselves by making ourselves stronger.
Originally published at https://rubalif.com.
