Rukmini Iyer
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Rukmini Iyer

An Inner Journey of Ahimsa — 18 Apr 2022

A coaching client who leads DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) initiatives for their organisation was speaking about how they find it so much easier to be there for others and give of themselves, but finds it challenging to ask for support, even when people around them wish to be there for them. We explored multiple threads that emerged out of this pattern.

One thread was around how we, through various kinds of indoctrination, are often taught that giving is better than receiving. In practising this, we also end up developing a corrupted relationship with power, where we feel more powerful in the position of a giver. Even as we use the garb of contentment or satisfaction around the opportunity to help others, there is an underlying sense of relief about not having to be a receiver. And when one is forced to be a receiver, the reception happens from a place of obligation instead of real connection with another.

Another thread was about what happens when we choose to be there for others when they need us, but do not let them have the same privilege. In a strange way, we take the liberty to belong in their lives, but do not include them in ours (because of the unconscious belief around giving being better than receiving). We went on to speak, with my client, about what this means for them as a professional. When they hold these beliefs and the resulting patterns within themselves as leaders in the DEI space, the systems they work with are also fed these beliefs through policies and practices, and imbalance results in the collective.

· What is your relationship with receiving?

· How do we learn to be powerful receivers?

#AnInnerJourneyOfAhimsa #RukminiIyer #ExultSolutions #peacebuilding #nonviolence

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