Happy Friday! Here’s your weekly tip on how to be more human at work

Imagine how it would land with your significant other

(Note: I’m assuming your significant other is a reasonably normal human. If not, take this all with a grain of salt. And…best of luck!)

For some reason, when we show up to work we assume all the rules of normal human interaction go out the window. We speak a weird language at work, we engage in odd rituals, and we ignore everything we know about human nature.

And yet, nearly everything we do at work involves humans. They are our customers, our audiences, our employees, our partners…

Marketers regularly do completely stupid things they would never try at home. My favorite example: “loyalty” programs. Would you ever tell your spouse that he or she just achieved Platinum Status for consistently taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, or being extra attentive in bed — and warn them that if they don’t keep it up they’ll get knocked down to Gold Status?

Sounds crazy?

Well is that not what every “loyalty” program does? Why is it stupid at home and a good idea at work?

HR folks are equally guilty.

Take any corporate-change program and imagine trying to get your spouse to change using the same methodologies. A fancy slogan, an over-produced video, a town hall, and a refrigerator magnet are just not gonna cut it at home. So why do we do it at work?

And we’re so accustomed to non-human behavior at work that we don’t even see it as non-human. Leave aside how unbelievably weird and ineffective corporate culture is on the inside. Ignore the impact on the employee experience. Even so, businesses need customers. That’s where the money comes from. And even if those customers are corporate drones at work, they expect to be treated as humans when they’re doing business with you.

So whatever you’re working on, a marketing campaign, a brand narrative, a training program, a change initiative, an IT rollout…anything…just imagine how it would land with your significant other. If you’re running low on imagination, you can always just ask them.

And for the love of whatever it is you care about, get out of the office more. Those fumes are killing your humanity. Spend more time talking to real people. Maybe try being a real people from time to time. You’ll quickly see all manner of absurdities in your work that you can replace with the kinds of behaviors that actually work with real live humans.

It will likely feel weird at first. You’ll miss not having any ducks in a row. You’ll miss conversations in which nobody says anything that has any actual meaning. You’ll miss pretending to give a shit about something really stupid…well, you won’t miss that one — that happens in real human life too. But before you know it, you’ll be deprogrammed and will feel an incredible sense of lightness and joy. The air will smell fresher, food will taste better. OK, I lied about some of that.

This rant was brought to you by the humans of Rule No. 1.