TheRunnerBird
May 13, 2018 · 4 min read

Changing focus.

Runnerbird Update: I am tired and uncomfortable.

It’s been five weeks since my mega 40 mile marathon, the Coventry Way. I promised a part two to my race report, but the words haven’t come and I hate to force my writing.

One of my spring goals: run through a lovely yellowy field. Like this one I ran through near Stanwick Lakes

I took a week off running and spent five days in North Wales with my sister and our collective brood. It wasn’t relaxing by any means, but it felt like what I needed. I didn’t think about exercise or diet much, the main focus being stopping the kids from killing each other and keeping our sanity. Both hung on by a thread.

Family road trip. Definitely not a shit idea.

So I’ve run two 10k races this month. The Leamington Spa Regency 10k, my third one and course PB (1:06) and the brilliant Market Drayton 10k, which I shuffled round in too-hot blazing sunshine (1:08). The Regency is very special to me, as it was my first ever 10k back in 2015. The Market Drayton 10k was a surprise, I didn’t remember entering, and initially thought it was in the much closer to home Market Harborough. I sort of didn’t think a 3 hour round trip was worth it for a 10k but it was great, and I want another crack next year when the weather hopefully isn’t as boiling. Plus, you get 18 muller yoghurts in the goodie bag. And a pork pie.

My Regency 10k cheerleader
Market Drayton 10k
The 3 L’s again: Lisa, Lisa and me
mmmm….warm and creamy

There’s loads of other stuff going on right now. Work is mad, I feel like I hardly catch my breath some days. And, after 12 years of having a kitchen which has made me weep because it is SO awful, we are having fairly major renovations on our house.

My kitchen right now

So, why tired and uncomfortable?

When I run right now I feel lethargic. I was lucky to get round Cov Way injury free, but all the hours and hours of plodding have put me right off running. I feel heavy and slow. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. The menopause stuff is pissing me right off too; my patches won’t stay on in hot weather, and I keep having bouts of uncontrollable rage, followed by short but intense depressive episodes. Anxiety that makes me short of breath crushes my chest. I know I am trying to do so much. I am also uncomfortable in my own home, with all the dust and mess, trying to keep my son out of the building site is stressing me out. I am in a bit of a state.

Think I prefer a buff TBH

So….time to pause. I am still running of course, but it needs to move down the pecking order for a while. The after work gym sessions have also had to go on hold so I can come home and tidy up after the builders. It’s time to shift my focus onto making myself and my family comfortable and happy. Running is supposed to be my outlet, my joy, but it isn’t ticking those boxes right now.

There is a light that never goes out…

Tell you what though, when I do get back into it, I really want to get back into the vicinity of my PB’s (we are talking a 26 minute 5k, 55 minute 10k and 2:09 half marathon). I haven’t had a distance PB for well over a year, I am not making any progress at all in that area. So after a bit of a hiatus this Summer, before the Tiree Ultramarathon in September, I am going to get well and truly ON IT.

#runhappy…or what’s the point?

runnerbird

the journey to 26.2 and beyond

TheRunnerBird

Written by

Mother. Runner. Writer. Manc 🐝. Yogi.

runnerbird

the journey to 26.2 and beyond

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