Believe in Yourself
The power of fostering a mindset of self-belief
There is an immense amount of power in what lies between your ears. The catalyst of all human function, emotion, actions taken, and those avoided — your best decisions along with your worst.
Anything worthy of accomplishing inevitably carries a weight that impacts the way you think. For better or for worse — an echo-worthy space between narcissism and chronic self-doubt. Some spend a lifetime convincing themselves they’re much further along and far more accomplished than what is true in their reality, while others hold themselves back from accomplishing incredible things, due to a lack of belief in their own abilities. Oftentimes, hesitant to even take the first step.
What does it take to believe in yourself? I hope to clear up some confusion with a story of my own.
Easier Said Than Done
I have spent the greater majority of my life up to this point in the sport of wrestling — now serving as a high school coach, previously training and competing for 17 years. The lessons and attributes that the sport has provided me are unrivaled in every sense of the word — mental fortitude, physical strength, cardiovascular endurance, discipline … to name a few.
Of the things previously mentioned, the one area in which I found tremendous struggle was in finding and holding confidence in my own abilities. The lack of self-confidence originated in the sport of wrestling, but for many years of my life spilled over into academics, other physical activities, personal relationships, etc.
For a long time, it drove me insane (not literally, but painfully close,) to near-breaking points, questioning the decision to continue on with something so intense and all-consuming.
How was it that after more than a decade of commitment to a given craft, I couldn’t find it within myself to truly believe in my own ability to achieve the desired levels of success? Constantly resorting to obsessing over how things could go wrong, finding any reason to give others a mental edge.
Still to this very moment, I’m not exactly sure why my brain operated in the way it did while in the trenches of training and competing. It doesn’t make much sense — the idea of providing myself less than optimal credit for the efforts and level of dedication I’d given to the sport. However, I’ve come to understand what fed into such a mindset, and that maybe I didn’t have it all figured out as a 17-year-old kid. Shocker, right?
I’ll circle back to this in a moment.
All told, up to the day I decided to walk away from the sport, I never could find the level of self-belief I had longed for.
Through various life-altering events, decisions, and actions, I’ve now found such a belief in myself and the life I lead — but, just like anything in this life worth attaining, it wasn’t easy.
Power in Mindset
If you’ve read my previous posts, particularly the one on the physical and mental effects associated with distance running, you’ve likely gathered that I have a fairly profound love for endurance sports, particularly ultra marathon running.
I suppose now is as good a time as any to mention that I ran cross country in my final two years of high school.
I hated it.
Running three miles was borderline torture for me at the time. Admittedly, an unbelievably stark contrast between the then and now.
How have I since developed the ability to, and the love for running 20, 30, 40 …. 100 miles at a time? Moreover, the belief in myself to do such a thing?
Good question.
In short, I initiated a complete shift in my mindset. I, at last, found the ability to believe in myself. In my ability to do something outside of my preconceived comfort zone, to achieve the goals and aspirations I set for myself. All of this done through continuous work — real work, leaving no breathing room for self-doubt.
My story, albeit much different in its current state, began nearly identically to that of Nedd Brockman. If you’ve never heard of Nedd, prepare yourself — he’s the man.
In the year 2020, amidst COVID lockdowns and hysteria, a 21-year-old Australian Electrician woke for the day and naturally made his way to the restroom to brush his teeth. In doing so, he noticed, for the very first time, that he now had some “back fat.” This quick and subtle discovery was enough to spark a desire to begin what has now become an incredibly impressive and inspiring career in the world of ultra-distance running. This gentleman, as you have likely assumed, is Nedd Brockman.
Since that day, Nedd has become an Australian SUPERSTAR, quite literally. Completing two separate endurance endeavors whilst raising funds in donation to the efforts against homelessness in Australia.
The first of said efforts was completing 50 marathons in 50 days, raising $63,000. Since then, Nedd has completed the outstanding feat of running the distance across Australia — from Perth to Bondi Beach. Amidst this effort, successfully raising north of $2 million. For reference, that is 3,953km or roughly 2,455 miles. This was accomplished in just 47 days.
For you mathematicians out there — yes, that is an average of over 80km/50mi per day.
Recently, in a powerful episode on the Rich Roll Podcast, Nedd shared his story in full detail, from its origins, to where he stands now. Similar to my own background, Nedd had no prior experience in the wide world of distance running. Which begs the question, once again, “How does someone have the ability to make such a big jump in running distance? In such a short period of time?” After all, it was only one year (to the day) after picking up running that I ran my first ultramarathon — Nedd running 50 marathons in 50 days roughly a year after picking up the hobby.
Again, it’s a good question, one that Nedd answers perfectly. In a brief statement within an article in MPA Magazine:
“We’ve all got our own flaws [and] imperfections, but they are merely what they are, once you accept that it is okay to be the best broker in central NSW … the best coach, teacher (or whatever it is) you can have the confidence and belief in yourself to do it,”
If your immediate reaction to that quote is something to the tune of “Well, it’s just not that simple!” — You’re absolutely right. It’s not. There is one other, very influential piece of the puzzle, which is work. True confidence is absent in the presence of shortcuts and the use of excuses.
Nedd Brockman didn’t have the belief that he could run 2,000+ miles over 47 days on day one of his running journey. He didn’t miraculously find this belief on day two, three, or even four. The ability to truly believe in yourself manifests only when you are honest with yourself, and have put in the work necessary to foster such a belief.
In hindsight, it’s all begun to make sense. The excruciating pain of failure and confusion in my younger years. The longing for an ability to believe in myself. In my skills and potential. The work had been put in, right? But, had it, really?
The hard truth is that it hadn’t. This took years to conceptualize.
Now that I have spent years reflecting, learning and growing, I understand that the hours spent honing a specific craft are empty and useless if not completed with deliberate intention. By this, I mean that if you go through the motions expecting to achieve greatness, you’ll nearly always come out empty-handed and disappointed.
This was the story of the bulk of my years in the sport of wrestling. I was (either consciously or subconsciously) quick to take the easy way out — to find the shortcut if made available.
A recipe for self-doubt.
Teaching Self-Belief
Working as an educator and coach, it has, in many ways, become my job to guide others into self-belief. Helping to build confidence in themselves. Despite my own inability to do so some years ago, the hard lessons I’ve learned have provided me with the foresight necessary to do so.
Most important of all in the teaching of self-belief is the execution of what you preach — meaning that you must exude a clear level of self-belief and confidence in order to achieve genuine buy-in from students, athletes, family, friends, and everyone in between that you may influence.
To provide a quick example:
We’ve all, at some point in our life, heard the cliche term “treat others the way you want to be treated.”
While basic, and somewhat juvenile (or, often tied to elementary school lessons on human interaction,) the saying itself holds great value.
If I wish to be treated with respect, I must treat others with such respect — plain and simple, right? The same is true for teaching self-belief. You cannot expect a group of students, friends, followers or anyone else impacted by your being to buy into your teaching if it’s more than obvious that you don’t believe in yourself.
I don’t mean to imply that this model only applies to my career in teaching — it absolutely does not. It is important in any job field, mentoring program, parenthood, friendship — on and on the list may go.
Starting Small
As previously implied — self-belief is constructed through a body of undeniable work. No shortcuts, no easy way out, no level of doubt available to creep in.
That leads many to the question, “How do I begin something if I already don’t believe in myself and haven’t done any of the work yet?”
Start Small.
If you want to run, start with a mile. Lifting weights? Start light. Writing a book? Start with a page. As you progress in skill level, you build up the distance, the weight, the word count — whatever it may be.
Through doing this, you accomplish a few things:
- Create small victories along the way.
- Develop a routine.
- Build confidence in your ability to go just a little longer, a bit heavier, a few more words — this compounds over time.
When first beginning something new, it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous — I think it’s important to remember that. There is a (not so clear) but profound difference between nerves and doubt.
Some of the greatest athletes in the world still find themselves nervous before a sporting event, the most prolific public speakers ridden with nerves prior to a big speech. It doesn’t necessarily mean that doubt is creeping in, but that what you’re doing means something to you at your core.
Whether you’re years into developing and refining a skill, or on the outside looking in, hesitant to take the first step toward progress — take the actions necessary to acquire undeniable self-belief. Do the work, take no shortcuts. Understanding that, oftentimes, the hard way is the easy way.
Once you believe in your own abilities; push a little further, find new limits, new discoveries about human potential and the mastery of your own mind.
You’ll thank yourself, someday down the road.
References:
Dickinson, P. (2023, February 22). Nedd Brockmann stars at bankwest industry event. Mortgage Professional Australia. Retrieved April 1, 2023, from https://www.mpamag.com/au/news/general/nedd-brockmann-stars-at-bankwest-industry-event/437214
