Do You Feel Like a Runner?
How do we overcome the obstacles and our own inner critic to feel like we belong?
In theory, running is a sport with a very low barrier to entry. All you need are some running shoes (not even those if you go barefoot) and some clothes that are comfortable to exercise in. Then you can just head out the door and go. You can run alone or in a group. You can run fast, or shuffle along, taking as many walking breaks as you need.
There are, of course, obstacles that prevent people from running — injury, illness, or simply not having a safe place or time to run. But what about the more intangible obstacles? That little voice in our head telling us we can’t, that we should give up, that because we’re not real runners, there’s no reason to try.
I remember a conversation I had with a friend years ago who gave up running because he felt too self-conscious. As a kid, he loved running with his school’s cross-country team, but as an adult, he struggled. He’d get dressed, head out the door, start running along the footpath, and then stop when a car drove past, embarrassed to be seen. He’d start running again, then slow to a walk when the next car came into view. In a busy suburb, this meant he spent more time walking than running, and eventually he just gave up.
When it comes to running, what is it that makes us put these barriers in our own way? Do we believe we should all be elite athletes? Is it some hangover from school, where you either belonged to the group of sporty kids, or you didn’t? Have we placed too much importance on looking a certain way — whether that’s being a certain weight, or looking graceful and fit as we run?
I decided to ask around. Because despite how we might feel about ourselves and our abilities, I believe the running community is welcoming and you can consider yourself a runner regardless of ability, or of looking or feeling a certain way.
Destani Davies is an international speaker and high-performance coach. She is currently running 10km every day as part of a year-long commitment to raise awareness and to support others through The Solitude Project. Despite this impressive feat, Destani tells me she doesn’t consider herself a runner. I asked her why this is.
‘I suppose my idea of a runner is someone that doesn’t look like me,’ Destani says. ‘Their physique is different and their mentality.’
‘I tend to think of myself as someone who happens to be running rather than identifying as a runner, and I think the reason is that I don’t feel like I’ve really accomplished anything to fit into that category that I have created for myself.’
‘I don’t tend to stretch or eat the right foods to help maintain my running,’ Destani says. ‘I don’t do any training in this space to improve as such, because it was never really my reason for making this commitment in the first place.’
Someone with a very different approach to running is exercise scientist and fitness director at Fitness Energy, Jane Kilkenny.
‘I have been a runner my whole life,’ Jane tells me. ‘I did Little Athletics as a child, enjoyed running at school events, competed in track and field in my twenties, and then just focused on recreational running. I have competed in events up to ultramarathon distances.’
Jane is comfortable calling herself a runner, but as a coach, she encounters many people who don’t see themselves that way.
‘Fear is a big issue for new runners,’ Jane says. ‘Fear that they will get injured. Fear that they won’t “look” like a runner. Often newbies are intimidated by experienced runners.’
So how do you keep going when fear is holding you back? Destani has found it is actually this mental battle that helps her to derive the real benefits of running.
‘Running is something else,’ Destani says. ‘I found out from the get-go, and knew inside myself, this journey was going to be a difficult one.’
‘One of the things I’ve noticed helps to shift my own mindset when I’m in these spaces, is the mere fact I’m in a mental battle — deliberating constantly about why I should stop, and I feel sore and all of these kinds of thoughts — it gives me a break from my own mind.’
‘Which brings me to the next point — you’re in the present moment. You’re not thinking about what happened in your past or what’s happening in the future, you’re literally in survival mode. Maybe not as dramatically, but there are days when it can definitely feel that way.
‘The fresh air and the after-effects, despite that mental and physical battle, leaves with you a sense of achievement which helps to make you feel good because you’ve chosen to do something for you.’
Destani and Jane had spoken of the hurdles people faced whilst still developing their fitness. I wanted to find out if this was the real battle, or whether someone who was already sporty would face similar struggles when trying to take up running.
For this, I turned to Katrina Morrow, who represented Australia at the Sydney 2000 Olympics. Katrina competed in synchronised swimming, and although she is now running regularly, she hasn’t found it easy — either physically or mentally.
‘I don’t think I have ever considered myself a runner,’ Katrina says. ‘When I was growing up I was always a swimmer. My best friend was a runner and we both had our strengths and admired them in each other. Till this day, she is the runner. She has run multiple marathons in Melbourne and overseas and I simply admire her talent.’
‘So my dabbling with running is really just that. Typically I run the half at Melbourne Marathon Festival and my usual fitness carries me there. This year I was bored in lockdown and decided to start building my running given I couldn’t swim! Usually, I really enjoy the mix of swimming and running.’
Now, Katrina is training for the full marathon at the Melbourne Marathon Festival in December. It all comes after a huge change in her attitude to running.
‘When we were training for Sydney 2000, we were required to do some running,’ Katrina says. ‘Most of the team were strong swimmers and we worked hard in the gym, but that was where our focus remained. Our coach would send us out from MSAC [Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre] to run a lap of Albert Park Lake. I did it, but I didn’t enjoy it. After six hours in the pool, a run was hard!’
‘After Olympics, and once I retired from synchronised swimming (now called artistic swimming), I was looking for something to keep my fitness up. It was my husband who took me for a run and changed my mindset about running. I remember doing my first Melbourne Half Marathon, circling Albert Park Lake, and remembering those times when I was out there, years earlier, dreading running. Things had changed.’
Not everyone has the experience of an Olympian, for whom pushing through discomfort or mental barriers is all in a day’s work. I asked our running coach Jane if she had any further advice for runners whose physical limitations might turn into mental hurdles.
‘One of the biggest problems for new runners is that they often get sore and tight muscles or sustain an injury which will dampen their enthusiasm,’ Jane says. ‘The best way to avoid this is to get some help before you start. A coach will assess your movement, give you some guidelines to build your running slowly, and support you along the way.’
‘Running, like everything else, is a skill you can learn to do well. The best thing about running is that it has huge physical and mental health benefits. You can enjoy the variety of training hard and feel those endorphins kick in or enjoy a nice slow run for the pure enjoyment of being outside. There really isn’t a downside — just pure positivity!’
I asked Jane to tell me a little more about this ‘pure positivity’. She told me that one of the most encouraging things for her is the welcoming and inclusive nature of the running community — one that transcends boundaries and borders.
‘I ran the New York Marathon back in 2016 and it was the most amazing run experience I have ever had! The entire course is lined with enthusiastic supporters, it’s like one giant moving party through the streets… runners are a special community, supportive and inclusive. Wherever I have travelled within Australia or overseas, I have always found other runners have a friendly smile to share,’ Jane says.
Destani experienced this special community first hand whilst struggling to continue with her awareness-raising campaign.
‘After I injured myself and didn’t feel like running, a friend suggested I let others do it on my behalf,’ Destani says.
‘Once we opened it up, we had runners and walkers take part and they’d share their reasons for participating — from children to the elderly. It was beautiful to see these strangers becoming involved in the smallest of ways, yet impacting their own network by sharing that uplifting vibe, which we definitely need more of in the world.’
Katrina also found that it was the people who made running worthwhile. First, there was her husband, who helped her to change her mind about the sport, then there were the people she met as she continued to train.
‘I think I am quite lucky that my sport, synchronised swimming, required such great fitness. My lung capacity and general fitness have always been a strength,’ Katrina says.
‘The difficulty of moving from a water-based sport to a land-based sport is the difference in weight-bearing strength. I have had to build my leg strength, in particular my knee strength.’
‘What I love is that if you have the motivation, it will carry you across any sport. If you can find yourself some great people to do sport with, this too makes any transition enjoyable. I have met some awesome people along the way and this truly is the best part about any sport.’
Anyone who is already a part of the running mob will recognise this community aspect, along with the many physical and mental health benefits that running provides. But what do you do if you’re struggling to even get started?
‘Be kind to yourself,’ Destani says. ‘Start with small steps. If it’s a struggle to walk to the letterbox, that’s okay. Make yourself a daily goal of doing a daily walk to the letterbox, and as you feel yourself getting strong, maybe do two trips there and back, and slowly increase along the way.’
‘Don’t be discouraged if you skip a day — there is always tomorrow — and try not to compare yourself to others. Their journey is entirely different to yours. You have an amazing journey ahead of you — the question is where will you choose to go next?’
‘I always think, “what’s the worst thing that could happen if you give it a go?” You might be the biggest person, the most unfit, you might be the slowest out there. The point is you’re out there and each time you show up, you’re choosing to show up for you.’
‘You deserve to be the best version of yourself, and being around a supportive network is key in helping you along your journey, especially in the beginning.’
‘Who knows? You might find you actually like it, and before you know it you could be running 5km, 10km, half or full marathons. It all starts with choosing you first. What’s the worst that could happen? Nothing really.’
‘You’ve got this and I believe in you.’
Now that you’ve heard some encouragement and advice from other runners, it’s time to lace up your shoes. Because you are a runner.
