In Defense of Small Hands
Not everyone with tiny hands is as awful as Trump. And it doesn’t actually impact dick size…much.
Ever since Marco Rubio revived jokes about Trump’s small hands, I’ve listened to jokes about the evilness associated with tiny hands. I know, I know. It’s just a joke; one that even I have cracked. But I thought I could set the record straight & speak out on behalf of other tiny-handed weirdos.
In women, having small hands has its perks. When the size is noticed, women tend to say how delicate, dainty, or cute my hands look. I can understand how a man prone to bouts of fragile masculinity might not want to have delicate hands, but that’s really something Trump needs to work on with his therapist or life coach.
Having small hands can lead to frustration. It can limit your ability to do things in your daily life. For me, my hands meant I have trouble when trying to play piano or guitar. I cannot open jars easily because my hands are small and lack adequate muscle tone. There are no medical/lab gloves that fit my hands, and no winter gloves in women’s sizes that fit them either. And if I see a picture of myself where my hands are next to my body, I think about the way that a Tyrannosaurus rex looks. Yeah, that’s an unpleasant comparison.
In people with penises, having small hands does not impact your penis size. Having a longer ring finger than index finger might give you a few more centimeters, which isn’t much. But what you should really know is that the size of your penis really doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it.
No small hands do not make a person evil or bad. I’m not evil or bad, depending on who you ask. Sure, I’m weird, but not in the kind of nuclear-proliferating, racist, sexist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, dictator-loving fascist way that he is. Basically, it’s not the hands that make Trump a monster. He’s like that because he is so insecure and was coddled too much — either by his friends & family or by society. He knows he can get away with things because he’s never been held responsible for things he’s done wrong. So when you make jokes that his hands cause it, it might make you laugh, but it also takes the pressure off of him to be a better person. He needs that pressure. He deserves that pressure. Give him what he deserve and keep your middle fingers, whether they’re big or small, up when he tries to pull outrageous shit.
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